


Too Late To Turn Back Now

by NalgeneWhore



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - The Proposal Fusion, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, it's cute tho, it's fun and fresh and cool, like u should read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalgeneWhore/pseuds/NalgeneWhore
Summary: Elide Lochan has been living and working in Doranelle for years. Unknowingly, she let her visa expire and now must leave the country for a year - including losing her position as aCrown Prosecutor. Without thinking, she ropes her associate, Lorcan Salvaterre, into her scheme to let her stay in Doranelle and announces that they are to be wed. As they fumble their way through their new relationship dynamics while visiting Lorcan’s family deep in Doranelle’s northern isles, they must keep up pretenses while their intentions change, all under the watchful eye of the immigration bureau.
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn, Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre, Fenrys/Nehemia Ytger
Comments: 112
Kudos: 149





	1. Son, Please Beware

Lorcan did not recognize the room he woke up in, his head buried in a frilly pillow. Without moving his head, he quickly scanned the room around him, eyes widening at the amount of _stuff_ the girl had on her dresser and desk.

The bed shifted and he lifted himself up, looking down as the girl next to him rolled onto her back and stretched, the duvet falling from her chest. Heat sparked in his veins and she smiled lazily, reaching up to tug his face down to hers, kissing him slowly. “Morning, baby,” she whispered, running a hand through his hair. “Wow. Your hair’s longer than mine. You should cut it.”

Lorcan shook his head, “Already told you that I can’t.”

“Not even for me?” she pouted and he wished he cared enough to remember her name. Actually, he did not really care. Sighing through his nose, he kissed her one more before glancing at the clock, trying to see if he had enough time this morning to have a little fun.

“Oh, fuck,” he cursed, jumping out of bed, and rooting around the room for his slacks and shirt. His boss was going to kill him.

“Where you going,” the girl whined as he tucked his slightly wrinkled shirt into his pants and buckled his belt.

“I gotta go to work, baby.”

“Well, when am I going to see you again?”

He slowly pulled his hair into a messy bun and rubbed his fingers over his stubbled jaw, “Listen. I don’t really do that type of stuff, you know?” She crossed her arms and drummed her fingers on her upper arm, tilting her head to the side. “Last night was great, but it was kind of more of a one-time thing.”

“Oh.”

“You’re beautiful and fun, but I’m just not in that place right now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. Call me when you are?”

“100%.”

There were already two coffee cups waiting at the counter when Lorcan ran into the coffee shop. The barista smiled as he grabbed them, “You’re the best, what do I owe you?”

“Look at the side of your cup and it’s on the house,” she said, winking as she turned to the next customer and he glanced down, seeing her number and name – Chloe – scrawled on the side.

Lorcan smiled and nodded a goodbye as he pushed his way through the door and broke into a near sprint, dreading his boss’ wrath.

Fifteen minutes later, Lorcan calmed his fast-beating heart as he pushed open the pristine glass doors to the offices of the national Prosecution Services. He glanced at his watch and sped up, hoping his boss had missed her alarm and was not in yet.

It seemed as though one of the gods took pity on him and had graced him with extra time this morning. He half-jogged into her corner office and put a coffee on her desk, speeding out to his desk just as his phone buzzed. Lorcan cursed in his mother tongue as he fished out his phone, a text lighting up the screen.

_Boss Lady: Cairn’s in five minutes_

He internally groaned and texted the office group chat, just two words.

_LS: She’s here_

The mood dropped as everyone hurried to do what they were supposed to be doing and the doors opened. Elide Lochan walked in, her heels clicking against the floor.

She was dressed in her firing outfit – a black sheath dress that was square at the top, exposing her delicate collarbones and smooth neck, her dark hair pulled up into a sleek ponytail. She wore red-bottomed heels that matched perfectly with the dark blood-red shade of her lipstick, and her purse hung from her elbow.

Everyone scattered as her gaze cut across the cubicles. There was a limp, but after years of physical therapy and the best orthopods money could buy, it was hardly noticeable save for the scar marring the otherwise perfect alabaster skin of her leg.

“Lorcan.”

He handed her her briefing folder and followed her into her office, shutting the door behind him as she dropped her bag in one of the chairs in front of her glass desk and perched herself on the edge of said desk. “The firing dress?” he asked mildly, knowing she would appreciate the remark.

After two years of working for her as her associate, Lorcan knew her better than she knew herself, which is why he knew what type of smile would grace her round lips before they graced Cairn with her presence. True to his word, she grinned a wicked grin, “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to sack his ass? Losing the Baldor case gives me the perfect opportunity.”

Lorcan cracked a smile as well. He hated Cairn and would be glad to see him go. Losing their biggest case just before the biannual board review was a slip up no one would let go unnoticed. “When do we go?”

Snapping the folder shut, her red acrylics flashing, Elide said, “Now.” Any trace of joking familiarity she revealed when it was just the two of them left her face as she stood up straight and she walked to the door, just a tad of swagger in the way her hips swung with every step.

Elide rapped on Cairn’s door, a false sympathetic tilt to her head. The man looked up, a smarmy grin on his lips he thought she couldn’t tell was a complete farce. Lorcan would’ve pitied him if he didn’t loathe the man. “Well, if it isn’t our fierce leader and her lap dog.”

Chuckling, Elide strolled into his office, stopping before the small window, more than a little smug that she had the corner office, not him. “I’m letting you go, Cairn, darling.”

“You’re _what_?”

Lorcan watched, highly entertained as he sipped from his coffee, as Elide slowly turned around and spoke to Cairn as though he were a small child, “You’re fired.”

Cairn shot up, his fists planted on his desk. He seethed, near foaming from the mouth, “You can’t fire me.”

“Oh, but I can. You see,” she said, walking in measured steps over to him where she planted her own fists on the desk and leaned over, “losing the Baldor case was just the tip of the iceberg, darling.” Lorcan bristled as Cairn’s eyes dropped down to her cleavage, lingering much too long before he dragged them back up to her eyes, no doubt glittering with that icy rage of hers. “Now, I’m going to be nice and not report you for sexual harassment _and_ give you two months to find a new job. You must think you’re so slick, staring at every twenty-year old law student who walks in here, calling them sweetheart, thinking I can’t feel it when you stare at my tits and my ass. Get a nice long look, because it’s the last time I’ll allow it before I rip your beady little eyes from your skull.”

Without another word, she stood up straight and spun neatly on her toes, walking out of his office with Lorcan on her tail. “What’s he doing,” she whispered, her back straight and head held high.

Lorcan subtly glanced over his shoulder, eyes on the raging man. “Pissed and ready to go. T-Minus five, milady.”

“Oh, Cairn, honey, don’t do it.”

Elide turned to Lorcan, that sadistic smile playing at her mouth before she neutralized her face and waited, almost bored as Cairn came storming out, a finger pointed at her, “You cold-hearted crippled _bitch_. You can’t fire me!”

The office went dead silent and Elide just surveyed her nails, appraising the deep burgundy colour and sleek coffin shape, “Why are you doing this, Cairn? I gave you a civilized way out of this.”

“You fired me because you’re threatened!”

Lorcan choked on his laugh, way too invested in the scene unfolding. Elide sighed again and smiled icily, “Oh, Cairn. You foolish, foolish man. Nothing about you threatens me. I fired you because you’re entitled and incompetent, not to mention you prey on every girl that comes through these doors. Care to remind the office how much you’ve lost in sexual harassment settlements and how many law clerks you’ve gone through in the past year?” He went beet red up to the roots of his brown hair and she continued, “Hm. That’s what I thought. So, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get your ass out of this office before Lorcan here forcibly removes you. You have a choice to make here.”

Cairn’s watery blue eyes promised her a painful death but he slowly nodded and Elide clapped, “Oh, goodie. Now, carry on.”

Everyone else suddenly found somewhere else to work as Elide and Lorcan continued back to her office. Once the door was closed, Elide flung herself across the low couch and laughed, “I haven’t had fun like that in ages.”

Lorcan huffed a laugh and read her her schedule, “Your immigration lawyer sent over some things for you to sign and you have a deposition with Lucy at one.”

She sighed, “Push the deposition to three and we need to push for an appeal. I’ll need you here this weekend.”

“I can’t.”

Elide slowly sat up, a brow raised. “And why not?”

“I’m going home for the weekend. It’s my sisters’ birthday.”

“I gave you time off?”

“I can just cancel, it’s fine,” he said, silently cursing her and everything she stood for. _First weekend home in two years and she makes me cancel?_

“You do that, and push Lucy to three.” She stood and waved her hand, effectively dismissing him. Lorcan nodded and took his leave, sitting down heavily as he punched out his mother’s number.

Lorcan knocked on her door and entered after she called him in. She looked distracted as she spun in her chair, her head resting on her fist. Lorcan slowly closed the door and carefully approached her, “Elide?”

“Did you speak to your mother?”

“Yes.” And she told him to quit, once again. “It’s all sorted.” He was supposed to be going up for his twin sisters, Aneha and Sadirah’s sixteenth birthday. He hadn’t been home in the two years he’d been working for Elide and hadn’t seen his family for seven months.

“There’s been a change of plans, Lorcan.”

“And that is…”

Elide breathed out and stood up, beckoning him over to the low-lying couch and matching armchairs that overlooked Doranelle’s magnificent rivers. “I’m in danger of being deported back to Terrasen. I’ve let my visa expire and won’t be able to reapply for a year, which I’ll have to spend in Terrasen.”

Lorcan’s eyes widened and he nodded, “Ok, well, you can always work remotely and-“

“I can’t do that, I won’t be able to work for any Doranellian companies so…” she trailed off and bit her thumbnail, refusing to meet his gaze. 

“So?” he prompted, leaning forward, and resting his elbows on his knees.

“I told my boss that we’re getting married.”

“Who?”

“You and me.”


	2. Put You In A Misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick lil thing! so, i headcanon lorcan to be native and the nation i use for inspiration is the Lakota tribe, this will be more apparent in the following chapters, but just wanted to let yall know! happy reading 💛

“Lorcan? Did you hear me?”

He hadn’t said a word in the past five minutes and Elide was getting worried. Finally, he opened his mouth, “I quit.”

Elide scoffed and rolled her eyes, “You can’t quit.”

Without another word, Lorcan stood and walked out, passing the rows of cubicles as Elide walked quickly after him, trying not to cause a scene. “Lorcan. _Lorcan_ ,” she hissed, her heels click-clicking on the marble floor of the building.

She followed him into the elevator and he pushed a random floor button, glaring at the paneling as if it had somehow grossly insulted him as he leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. Elide tracked the way his jaw ticked and his nostrils flared, his eyes ablaze. Sooner than she could react, he slammed the emergency stop button and whirled on her. “You told them we’re getting _married_? Elide, you’re a fucking prosecutor, do you even understand that’s a crime? Like, punishable by the law.”

“They’ll never figure out it was a scam and besides, you can’t quit.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have the power to ruin your career and make sure you never get a job practicing on the continent and you know it."

He did know it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Lorcan fumed silently and said, expertly calculated, “Fine. Say I say yes to this. I have some conditions.”

“Naturally.”

Lorcan shoved the urge to snap her neck down down down and breathed deeply, “First of all, a fifty percent pay raise, effective immediately. Secondly, after I finish articling, I get Cairn’s job with an added thirty percent pay raise _after_ the first raise. And I want your office.” The last one he threw in for fun, knowing she would fight tooth and nail to keep her coveted corner office.

Elide seethed silently, tapping her foot on the floor, glaring up at him. Gods, she was an itty-bitty woman and he’d never been more terrified by anyone. “Thirty-ten percent raise. Promotion, Cairn’s office.”

“Eighty-sixty. Promotion, your office.”

Elide spoke through gritted teeth, “Forty-five-thirty, promotion and your choice of office besides mine.”

“Deal,” he said, holding his hand and they shook on it. “I’ll get the necessary documents.”

“Really?”

“Nope.”

Elide muttered something in her first language that he chose to ignore as he restarted the elevator and they traveled back to their floor. News sure traveled fast because the moment they stepped out, everyone was staring at them with semi-horrified expressions.

She pretended not to notice while Lorcan stared ahead, stony-faced. As he stopped at his desk, Elide informed him they’d be leaving in fifteen for the immigrations office. Lorcan groaned and hit his head on his desk, wondering just what he’d done to deserve this.

Elide’s pert nose wrinkled as they stepped into the crowded office and she took in the long line up. With a sigh, she snapped her fingers at Lorcan and bypassed the line. “Elide, you can’t do that,” he said, trying to get her to stop and wait her turn, like everyone else.

Of course, she dutifully paid him no heed and slid in front of the person who was stepping up to the counter, “Hi, I’m sorry, do you mind if I just? No? Good.” She plastered on her case-winning smile as she put her papers down. The tired man keeping the desk looked at her unimpressed as she said, “I have a marriage visa I need processed.”

She tapped her sharp nail on the folder and the man gave her a dirty look before he picked up her papers and moved to the back to process them. Elide blinked and turned to Lorcan, “Rude.”

Lorcan bit his tongue and ushered her into an empty seat as they waited for their fraud to be processed. A few minutes later, their names were called and Elide stood up excitedly, clapping her hands before she tucked her hand in his elbow and tugged him back to the front desk. “Hi, thank you so much-“

“Ms. Lochan, Mr. Salvaterre, if you two would just follow me please,” a serious looking man said, clearly no time for any games as they walked at a brusque pace to a dreary little office in the back. They both sat in the uncomfortable chairs, hands clasped on their laps.

“Is something the matter?” Elide inquired, a picture-perfect air of innocence on her stunning face. Though Lorcan loathed her most of the time, he wasn’t blind. Her high cheekbones and angular, uptilted eyes paired with a button nose and round, bee-stung lips made for a breathtaking image, especially with her molten brown eyes and hair that was black as a starless night.

Her figure wasn’t bad either, sinful curves in all the right places, lean legs that looked like they went on for miles and miles – Elide would be exactly Lorcan’s type, if only she wasn’t like _this_.

The man looked up from their file, his dark eyes lingering on Elide too long before flicking to Lorcan and sliding right back to the petite woman. He addressed her breasts as he spoke, “I am Agent Benson and it’s come to our attention through anonymous tip that this wedding might be a scam so that Ms. Lochan can keep her position as Crown Counsel.”

Elide tensed as his gaze never dropped and Lorcan reached over, gently taking her hand in his before she could commit yet another crime, one that she would never see the sun again for. She gave him an almost grateful smile and turned to Benson, “Mr. Benson, did this anonymous tip come from a man named Cairn Beinn, by any chance?” The agent hesitated to answer and inadvertently showed his hand. Elide chuckled and shook her head, “Mr. Beinn is nothing more than a disgruntled former employee. It’s merely a coincidence, nothing to worry about.”

Lorcan nodded, squeezing her hand once. Benson looked unconvinced and rose a brow, flipping through their papers once more. “Five years in federal prison and a fine of two-hundred-fifty-thousand dollars.”

“What?”

“When I find out you’re lying, Mr. Salvaterre here will go to prison for five years and you’ll both pay the fine. Ms. Lochan, you will be deported and never allowed in the country again.”

“I guess it’s a good thing we aren’t lying then,” Lorcan said, pulling Elide’s chair closer. She squeaked in surprise at the sudden movement. “Ain’t that right, sweetie?”

She smiled uncomfortably and he subtly shook his head, nodding as her smile grew more natural. “You know it.”

Benson sighed and leaned his elbows on his desk, “Let me explain what’s going to unfold. Step one will be a scheduled interview. You’ll be put in separate rooms and I’ll ask you each and every question a real couple would know about each other. Next, I dig a little deeper, start going through phone records, emails, interview your friends and families. If your answers don’t match up at any point, it’s over.”

Neither of them said a word and he pressed again, “So, which one of you is going to tell me the truth?” Elide refused to break and leveled him with a cool look. Benson turned to Lorcan. “Well?” 

“Mr. Benson, the truth is that we started dating six months ago and kept it from our coworkers and friends. We fell in love and we’re getting married. That’s it.” Lorcan gripped Elide’s knee and she gave him a loved-up smile she’d seen her parents give each other all those years ago. “We weren’t supposed to fall, but we did. Nothing we could do about it.”

“Hm. Have you kids told your parents about your… love?”

Elide said bluntly, staring with deadened eyes, “My parents were murdered when I was seven, so no.”

“How convenient.” She sucked in a breath and Lorcan squeezed her knee harder as Benson turned to him, “How about yours? Your parents dead too?”

“My mom, very much alive. Don’t know about my dad, haven’t seen him since I was eleven so.”

Elide cut in, “We’re telling her this weekend.” Lorcan choked on his breath and coughed, growing red. Elide patted his back and went on, “Yeah, it’s his sisters’ birthday, so we’re making the trip and letting everyone know. We thought it’d be a nice surprise, the whole family’s coming together.”

“And, uh, where’s this taking place?”

“Lorcan’s mom’s place.”

“And where might that be?”

Elide laughed coyly, “It’s Lorcan’s mom, why are you asking me? Come on, darling, jump in.”

Finally, he had his breath back and said, “Otȟúŋwahe*.”

“Otȟúŋwahe,” Elide repeated, nodding. She hadn’t stopped rubbing his back and Lorcan realized it was rather soothing in the situation, her long nails scratching over the material of his suit jacket.

“Northern Isles.”

“Yup, Norther-ern Isles?”

“You’re going to the Northern Isles this weekend?”

Elide and Lorcan nodded along, the former trying to control her look of utter fear. “Mm-hmm. Cause that’s, that’s where Lorcan’s from. The Northern Isles.”

The agent just laughed humourlessly, “Fine. If that’s how you want to play it, fine.”

“Perfect,” Elide said, “my fiancé and I will see you then.”

She turned primly and walked out of the office, holding herself as though she had done nothing wrong and doing the interview would be an inordinate waste of her time.

Elide was tapping away on her phone when Lorcan came out of the building and walked right past her. “Lorcan, excuse me, Lorcan!”

He slowly turned around and looked down at her with an extremely displeased look in his eyes. “Yes, dear?”

“Funny, anyway, we need to talk about what’s going to happen when we get up to Oto- Ota-“

“Otȟúŋwahe.” The fact that she couldn’t remember, despite having a near photographic memory made what he was going to demand of her so much sweeter.

“That. So, I’m thinking, we play girlfriend-boyfriend, tell your family we’re engaged-“

“Ask me nicely.”

She arched a brow, looking up from her phone, “’Ask you nicely’ what?”

Lorcan smiled and batted his eyelashes. “Ask me nicely to marry you, Elide.”

Elide made a face and gestured vaguely, “What does that even mean?”

He tilted his head to the side, a strand of his hair falling over his harsh cheekbone. “You heard me. On one knee and everything.”

Elide glared at him and he glared right back, not budging an inch, so Elide tucked her phone in her purse and held out her hand. Lorcan took it and helped her down to her knees, her dress not allowing for anything but a two-kneed approach. “Is this good?”

Lorcan swallowed his laugh and nodded, “Mm-hmm, I like you like this.”

Scowling up at him for the implication, Elide rudely asked, “Will you marry me.”

“Mmm, nope. Try again, baby.”

“Don’t call me that,” she spat before closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. Her gaze was true and deep when she swept her eyes open, smiling serenely up at him, “My darling Lorcan?”

“Yes?”

“If you would, please, do me the greatest honour of any woman’s life, and marry me? Please, with a cherry on top?”

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but fine. See you at the airport tomorrow.” With that, he left, leaving Elide to fend for herself on the pavement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Otȟúŋwahe is Lakota for town!


	3. And Now I'm In Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: when i write lorcan, i write him as native american - lakota specifically! so, i made up a fictional tribe called ‘Ozuye’ which means warrior in lakota and based it off of the lakota nation

The plane landed clumsily on the air strip outside of Otȟúŋwahe and Elide pressed a hand to her stomach, swallowing her nausea. Her seatmate, the ever-irritating Lorcan, grinned at her despair and had the audacity to chuckle. “Is her majesty not used to rough landings?”

She just scowled at him and ignored him as the flight attendant gave the all-clear and they could depart the metal can with wings. Elide vowed to herself that she’d charter a jet, if need be, because there was no way she was endangering her life like that again. Lorcan wouldn’t be invited. He could crash and burn in the Cambrian Mountains for all she cared.

Lorcan led the way to the door, speaking a word of thanks in his mother tongue to the pilot and attendants. Elide nodded and smiled politely, precariously making her way down the stairs in her heels. She couldn’t remember why she’d brought heels to the Northern Isles of all places.

The sound of high-pitched screams pierced the air, over the sound of the plane engine, and Elide tripped over the last step, righting herself before she ate asphalt. When she looked up, she saw two identical girls holding signs up as they hollered.

They had Lorcan’s complexion and those long locks of hair whipping around their heads from the wind, the same high cheekbones and straight nose, full lips, and sharp jaws. They were tall like him too, way taller than her – not that that was a feat of greatness of any sort. Elide grabbed her suitcase as they sprinted towards Lorcan, crashing into him and squealing.

Despite herself, a genuinely warm smile pulled at her lips and she walked down to where they had gathered, lugging her heavy bags behind her. Lorcan had set the girls on their feet by the time she got there and they were speaking in rapid fire Ozuye, going back and forth until they all erupted in hearty laughter. The siblings noticed her presence and turned to her, shock lining the girls’ faces. “Lor, are you going to introduce us to your girl?”

He shook his head, “Gods, you two are the worst. This is why I never come home.” Elide chuckled and he nodded, “Yeah, so this is Aneha,” the girl stepped up, wearing a pullover fleece and leggings, and held her hand out to be shook. Elide obliged and said hello before the other half of the twins was stepping up.

“And I’m Sadirah!” Sadirah wore a red flannel lumberjack coat and paint-splattered overalls and what appeared to be hand-beaded moccasins on her feet. Instead of a handshake, she hugged Elide tightly. “It’s great to meet you! I love your shoes.”

“I love yours.They’re beautiful,” Elide said, her words genuine. 

“Thank you, I made them myself! Now, Lorcan’s never told us, but do you prefer Elide or Hellas’ Mistress?”

She let out a cold laugh and subtly stepped on Lorcan’s foot, leaning all her weight into the heel as he bit his lip and his eyes watered, “Elide’s just fine.”

“Good, well, let’s get going, the truck’s running!”

As they all traveled to the truck, Elide stared up at Lorcan. He looked as though someone had taken years off his still-young face. At work, Elide had a hard time remembering that they were the same age, but now, it was blatantly obvious through the lightness of his body and the relaxed way he carried himself.

The town was lovely and quaint, situated on a picturesque island. As Aneha drove down the main street, Elide looked out the window, taking in the sight of the ocean and bay. The natural scenery around Otȟúŋwahe was breathtaking and it reminded Elide of Perranth. It had the same untamed wilderness and a certain ancientness she couldn’t place.

She had booked two rooms at the only hotel in town and as they approached the street, she spoke up, “You can just turn right up here for the hotel.”

Lorcan frowned for a split second as Aneha and Sadirah exchanged a look. Aneha just drove on past as Sadirah explained, “Oh, we canceled your reservations. Hope you don’t mind, but we thought it’d be nice to stay with family.”

They pulled into a marina’s parking lot as Elide nodded, hiding her annoyance at the presumptuous behaviour. _It’s fine, you can make it six nights_ , she told herself as they all hopped out of the vehicle and she climbed out in a more dignified approach. “Where is your home?”

Lorcan pointed to the sleek speedboat, “We need to take the boat there. The property’s a few islands away.”

Elide shook her head adamantly, “Lorcan, you know I can’t swim. I am not getting in that boat.” He shrugged and dropped her luggage at her feet.

“That’s fine. See you in a week.” He stalked off to the edge of the dock and disappeared down the ladder as she gritted her teeth and dragged her bags over to the edge. The twins were already seated in the boat and averted their piercing gazes as Elide tossed her bags down to Lorcan. One of them hit the deck and rolled right over the edge, landing in the water with a splash.

Sadirah quickly leaned over the boat and grabbed it, yanking it up. “Got it!”

Lorcan smirked up at Elide as she hesitated by the top of the ladder, “You can always jump, princess.”

He held his hands up and she fought the urge to flip him off as she carefully made her way down. She was almost down when her foot missed the next wooden rung and before she knew what was happening, she felt a hand on her ass, keeping her upright. “Off the ass, hand off the ass,” she hissed, seething once she finally made it down and glared up at Lorcan.

He wasn’t sure how she’d acquired the talent of looking down her nose at him even though he towered over her. With a huff, she stepped into the boat and sat down, looking out at the horizon as Aneha started the boat and Lorcan shoved the back before hopping in.

Elide watched the water as they cut through the bay, watching as if it would sweep her away. Lorcan could tell, through the way she gripped her bag with white knuckles and barely dared to breathe, that she was petrified right now. It was purely for show, and nothing else, that he scooted closer to her and took her hands in his, cupping his around hers to blow on them, “Your hands are freezing, El.”

She smiled softly and something in her relaxed as the girls exchanged secret smiles and they continued on.

A few minutes later, Lorcan nudged her and nodded towards the nearest island, two figures standing on the dock, “That’s it.” He turned to Aneha, “Is Aunt Maeve back?”

She grimaced and nodded, “Yep. Got back yesterday.”

He made a face and Elide rose a brow, “Who’s Aunt Maeve?”

Lorcan shook his head as Aneha slowed the boat and they floated up to the dock, “Later, Lochan.” He dropped her hands to toss out the rope to one of the women. She looked exactly like the girls, just a few decades older. She too wore her hair down and Elide could see gray streaks amidst the dark strands.

“Come here and give your mother a hug,” she said, smiling as Lorcan hopped out and walked over to her, ignoring the pale-skinned woman next to his mother. Maeve, Elide assumed, stared at her with a predator’s gaze that had Elide’s spine stiffening as she stepped out, her chin held high.

She did not back down and stared coolly at the woman for a second longer before Lorcan beckoned her over. “Elide, come over here.”

Smiling tightly, Elide stepped over the wooden slats to Lorcan’s side. “Hi, I’m Elide. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You as well, Elide,” she said, regarding the couple with an attentive eye. “My name’s Odette. This is my aunt, Maeve,” Odette gestured to the woman behind them. “She’s come up for the weekend.”

Lorcan visibly stiffened as Maeve stepped closer and made her introduction. His hand moved to the small of her back as Elide and Maeve shook hands. “So, Elide, you’re dating your secretary.”

“Actually, Lorcan’s my associate,” Elide corrected her, a dangerous glint in her eye as she smiled sweetly. “As in, he already graduated law school.”

Maeve’s face paled with rage.

Lorcan pulled Elide with him, ending the conversation before anything drastic happened, and getting their luggage.

“We’ll show you around,” Sadirah said, linking her arm in Aneha’s and not waiting to see if either of them followed before they were skipping along.

Elide hadn’t been able to see the entire property from the dock and her eyes widened once they could see the house. It was a mansion, really, spanning from the middle of the large acreage. “You didn’t tell me you’re rich,” she murmured, gritting her teeth when her heel sunk into the grass.

Lorcan lowered his brow, “My mom’s rich, there’s a difference.”

“Only rich people say that.”

He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, “You know, you’re kind of anti-rich, so it’s not a secret why I wouldn’t tell you and how would I even say that? ‘Hi, my name’s Lorcan Salvaterre and my mother owns the largest enterprise in the Northern Isles’?”

“What does that even mean ‘anti-rich’?”

“Oh, come on, you’re always going on about the entitled pricks in law school and those same pricks that we work with. It’s a little ironic, you know, considering you’re loaded.”

She made an affronted sound, “I _earned_ everything I made, those trust-fund-“

“Yeah, yeah, those trust-fund man-children were handed everything on a silver tray while you worked three jobs to support yourself and pay for school. I’ve heard the story, Elide.”

Elide pursed her lips but kept quiet as they walked through the front door. The house was rustically designed and decorated, high ceilings with exposed beams and a woodstove in the corner, a flame happily flittering away.

She took in the couches and knitted blankets strewn about, her eyes lighting up as she locked her gaze on the far wall of the living room to find that the entire wall was made of bookshelves, crammed full with all sorts of reading materials. There was a TV and another shelf filled with DVDs that she was itching to peruse.

They slipped off their shoes and the twins’ eyes widened for a split second at Elide’s height before they beckoned the two of them in, “We’ll show you to your room.”

Elide and Lorcan followed dutifully behind the whispering girls, down a long hallway. She traced her eyes over the framed artwork on the shiplap panelling. They seemed to tell a story, one she couldn’t discern, and Elide made note to ask Lorcan later. When they arrived at a closed door, Elide felt her ankle twinge and hid her discomforted wince. Lorcan caught her hitched breath and whipped his head to her, scanning her body. His gaze narrowed on her ankle and he moved to her side, letting her lean into him. “So, this is you guys. There’s a bathroom and towels are in the armoire by the balcony doors. We thought you might be tired, so we’re having brunch tomorrow with everyone.”

“ _Everyone_? Who’s _everyone_?” Lorcan asked, apprehension in his dark eyes.

“Don’t you worry,” Sadirah said, smiling as they retreated down the hallway and let the couple settle in.

Elide didn’t say a word as she unpacked her bags and moved the throw pillows from the bed. Lorcan was checking his phone when something slammed into the back of his head and he whirled, seeing Elide standing across the room, a pillow landing on the floor by his feet. _“Hellas’ Mistress?"_


	4. If I Knew She Really Loved Me Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda like....getting in to it now...

The sun was already bright when Elide jumped up at eight am, her biological clock forcing her awake. For the first seconds of the day, she thought it had all been but a dream so she peered around the wall of pillows separating the bed in half.

Lorcan was sprawled, half-off the mattress, on his stomach, his head buried in a mountain of pillows. Elide let her eyes wander down his back, tracing the traditional tattoos marking coppery-brown skin of his back and arms. She swept her eyes back up his spine to the thick hair braided back in two Dutch braids, the silver glint of the necklace he wore.

She looked her fill until her eyes dipped down to where the duvet was covering his frankly fantastic ass. Elide quickly snapped her eyes away and felt her face heat as she climbed off the bed and grabbed a hoodie to throw over her tank top and sweatpants.

Something buzzed in her bag and she rooted through the pockets before retrieving her phone, seeing all the calls she’d missed from her boss, including one from Benson.

Her lip curled and she walked on silent feet to the balcony that overlooked the yard and the ocean. The glass door clicked shut behind her and she clicked on the immigration agent’s voicemail, his slick voice coming through the speaker.

“ _This is Agent Benson, calling to inform you that your unscheduled drop-in can happen at any time. If either of you come to your senses, call back to set up a deal._ ”

Elide viciously hung up the phone and slammed it on the balcony railing, pacing back and forth angrily, her brows drawn tight together. She was still muttering obscenities in an ancient language when Lorcan lumbered outside, pulling his hair from the braids. The sight of his bare chest, the smattering of dark hair on his pecs and the trail leading from the grooves of his stomach down below the low-slung waistband of his shorts was enough to make her pause in her anger. Lorcan rose a brow at the fury on her face, not a stitch of cosmetics gracing it for once, “What happened?”

“Benson called,” she muttered, continuing with her pacing. Elide moved to the railing to pick up her phone to show him the voicemail, only to find that in the heat of the moment, she’d smashed the screen. “Fuck it all to hell.”

Elide looked ready to explode and out the corner of his eye, he saw his sisters, tea mugs in hand as they squeezed themselves into one of the wooden chairs circling the fire pit, giving them direct access to the balcony. Lorcan reached out to Elide and smiled, “Come here.”

She wrinkled her nose at his outstretched hands and took a step back, frowning at his smile. “What. No, what are you even doing?”

“My sisters are watching so come here, and give me a hug,” he said through his smile, his cheeks growing more tired by the second. When she still didn’t move, Lorcan sighed and tugged her close, wrapping his arms around her. “Want to stay in Doranelle? Give me a fucking hug, princess.”

Resentfully, she curled her hands on his chest and laid her cheek above his heart, his body heat warming through her face. Elide felt his hands slide down her spine to the small of her back and sighed softly, relaxing into him.

“That’s it,” he murmured, gently rubbing her back. “I’ll order you a new phone and we can go into town to pick it up, ok? But first things, you need to go get dressed.”

“Dressed for what?”

“Brunch, my love.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

Lorcan sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time in the five minutes he’d been waiting for Elide. “Elide, c’mon, can we just go? I’m sure you look fine.”

The bathroom door slammed open and Elide walked out, yet another pair of heels on her feet. Elide wore a baby pink silk slip skirt that ended mid-calf and a chunky cream sweater, paired with delicate gold necklaces and dainty matching hoops. Her dark hair was down and fell in romantic waves down to the small of her back. Her pointed-toe pumps matched her skirt and her thick lashes had been lengthened and darkened with mascara.

She spun, “Well? Suitable, is it, Mr. Salvaterre?” 

Lorcan sweeped his eyes up and down her figure, nodding absentmindedly. “You look good. Can we go?” 

Elide waltzed up to him, taking deliberate steps until she got to his side and tucked her hand in his elbow. 

Elide surveyed him in his outfit, sweeping her cunning eyes up and down his figure. Lorcan was wearing a ribbed fisherman’s wool sweater and a pair of navy slacks, the collar of his business shirt poking above his sweater. “I didn’t know you wore glasses,” she whispered, taking in the round, tortoiseshell spectacles. He looked quite dashing, the bottom half of his ruthlessly beautiful face graced with fashionable stubble, and his hair braided back into a bun at the crown of his head.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he said, not too kindly. Elide supposed she deserved it. They weren’t friends and he was being blackmailed into a marriage that could very well end his law career before it even started.

Shaking off the feeling of guilt, Elide rested her head against his bicep, shocked again to find that he was pure muscle. _Get it together,_ she berated herself _, this is_ so _not the time to be attracted to your associate, Elide._

“Ready?”

Elide looked up at him and nodded, “Yeah. I’m ready.”

Not another word was passed between them as they walked into the brunch. They had gone all out and Elide’s eyes widened at the amount of people, all chatting quietly with plates of food or drinks in hand. Odette walked up to them and hugged Elide, “Welcome.”

Elide tensed as Odette hugged her but then slowly melted into the embrace. She’d forgotten what it was like to be hugged by a mother. Quickly, she blinked back tears, “Thank you for going through all this trouble for us.”

“Oh, don’t worry! This is the first time Lorcan’s brought home a girl,” she said, dismissing Elide’s concerns. “Now, help yourselves to food and drinks.”

With that, she swept away, going to talk to other party guests.

Elide tapped Lorcan’s shoulder, waiting until he leaned down. “I’m going to go get a drink.” He nodded and she was off, smiling and nodding as she slipped through the crowd to the bar.

No one bothered her as she mixed various liquors and syrups in a glass and picked apart a muffin, feeling isolated amidst the happy brunch-goers. Everyone was chatting, laughing with old friends. Elide looked up and searched the room for Lorcan, finding that he had been cornered by his great-aunt, Maeve.

Elide hadn’t exchanged two words with the woman, hadn’t even seen her since their arrival and she was glad of it. Something about her made shivers run down her spine and she could see Lorcan grow more and more uncomfortable as she appeared to be berating him for some reason or another.

Deciding she would graciously save him from the situation, Elide turned back to make him a drink, stumbling for a second when it hit her that she didn’t know what he drank. She didn’t know a thing about him and he knew everything about her.

At an office dinner once, she’d seen him with a glass of whiskey in his hand and that seemed to fit him, so she poured him two fingers worth and added some other things to make it more appropriate for brunch. She’d worked as a bartender all through her undergrad and law degree and hadn’t forgotten the skills she’d picked up at the swanky cigar club.

With a decisive nod, she squared her shoulders and made it back to his side, just in time to hear him harshly spit: “Elide and I are engaged.” Everyone around them froze, including Elide, the ice cubes in his drink clinking against the glass.

Maeve’s eyes widened and her face hardened after her initial shock. Elide recovered from her freezing and smoothly stepped up to Lorcan’s side, holding his drink out to him, “I didn’t know we were telling anyone yet.”

Lorcan whipped his head to her, his anger checking as he saw Elide and the drink. He didn’t know what it was, but took it, puzzled as he looked down at its contents. She tapped the bottom with her fingertip, “You’ll like it.” He warily looked between her and the glass as Elide turned to face Maeve. “We were hoping to tell everyone a little later, but yes. We’re engaged.”

Lorcan looked down at her, opening his mouth to say something when someone clinked a glass. They looked up out of their own bubble, confused as they looked around to find that everyone was staring at them, the people closest to them urging them to share the story.

Excusing themselves from the corner with Maeve, Lorcan and Elide walked to the centre of the room. He sipped from his drink and raised his eyebrows before sipping again. She mumbled into her glass, “Told you you’d like it.”

“Yeah, yeah, El,” he said under his breath, sliding his arm around her waist and tucking her into his side. They fit just right. “You’re always right.” Lorcan was looking across the room at his mother, wincing until he saw her pleased expression, barely a difference to anyone who didn’t know her, but her eyes were bright as she pulled Aneha and Sadirah inside.

Elide beamed up at him, like a girl in love as their audience settled down. “Well, it was beautiful. He _did_ wake me up at midnight, which I wasn’t too happy about, mind you,” she spoke clearly, commanding the room’s attention without demanding it, just like she performed in court. Elide paused as a chuckle ran through the crowd and sipped from her drink, clearing her throat before continuing. “We went for a drive to this gorgeous waterfall ten minutes outside of the city and sat in the bed of his truck, wrapped up in this huge blanket, just watching the stars.” Elide swallowed hard and blinked quickly, “Sorry, there’s something in my eye.”

She carefully wiped them and ignored the look he gave her, the question dying on his lips. “So, we saw this shooting star and I asked him what he wished for. Nothing big or fancy, just… that I would say yes to his question. I had no idea what he was talking about and asked him what question.” Elide looked up at him, something sorrowful in her expression, “And then he asked.” She waved her left hand and Lorcan saw that she’d moved the diamond ring she wore on her right hand to her left. “And his wish came true.” 

There was applause and soft cheers before someone started a ‘kiss’ chant. Elide and Lorcan laughed it off, shaking their heads and smiling tightly until Maeve gave her a disapproving look and Elide saw red. She put her glass down on the table before her and took Lorcan’s as well, looping her hands around his neck and pulling him down. They didn’t kiss yet and Lorcan whispered, “What are you doing, princess?”

“Just trust me,” she answered, leaning in, and pressing her lips to his. He responded immediately, his hands on the small of her back as he dipped her. Elide gasped softly into his mouth, her lashes brushing against his cheeks as her eyes fluttered shut. Countless moments later, they came up for air, their chests rising and falling unsteadily as they stared into each other’s eyes.

Lorcan righted her and looked away, his cheeks tinted pink. Elide reluctantly tore her eyes away, flushing as the guests laughed and clapped. She flicked her eyes to where Maeve had been to find that she’d left and sighed in relief, reaching for her and Lorcan’s respective drinks. He nodded absentmindedly as she pressed his glass into his hand and Lorcan lifted it to his lips to drain the rest, “Let’s get out of here.”

Elide agreed and they slipped away. They didn’t get very far before a gentle voice was heard. “A lawyer, huh? You’re really marrying up, Salvaterre.”

Lorcan whirled around, Elide forgotten as he laid eyes on a beautiful woman. She wore a pair of black mom jeans and a green silk tank top that contrasted wonderfully against her warm brown complexion. “Essar?”

The woman, Essar, laughed and Lorcan crossed the hall to sweep her into a hug, lifting her off her combat-booted feet for a few seconds, “What are you doing here?”

Essar laughed as he set her down, her hand fondly resting on his upper arm, “Your sisters made me come.”

“From Varese?”

She shook her head, tucking a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear, “No, I live here now. Moved back a year ago. I teach kindergarten.”

“Oh lords, over at Wayawakiya*?” He turned to Elide, as if just remembering that she hadn’t disappeared back to Hellas’ realm, “That’s the school we went to.”

“Oh.”

Lorcan was oblivious to her unenthusiastic answer and turned back to the woman. She smiled, “We’re being rude, Lor. Introduce me to your bride!” They both turned to her and beckoned her over. “Hi, I’m Essar. It’s lovely to meet you, Elide.”

Elide was coming to the realization that hugging was the normal greeting in the Northern Isles because she had never been hugged this much. Still, it was nice and Elide could see herself getting along well with Essar, despite the situation.

“Essar and Lorcan were quite the item during school,” an icy voice helpfully commented. Without looking, Elide knew it was Maeve and didn’t deign to look over her shoulder, grabbing Lorcan’s hand to deter him.

Essar chuckled, “Yes, well, that’s old old history.” Lorcan nodded in agreement, but the look in his eyes told a different tale. “Anyway, I’m going to get going, I promised Dresenda I’d help her at the bar, I’ll see you two later, I guess.” Essar gave a two fingered salute and walked back down the hall.

Slowly, Lorcan turned to face his great-aunt but Elide dug her nails into his hand, not giving him a chance to say a word before she was pulling him away.

She tugged him to the patio and let go of his hand, going to lean against the railing just as a group of men spilled outside and started yelling at Lorcan. Elide watched, mildly terrified as a silver-haired man tackled Lorcan to the deck and the rest followed.

The door opened again and two women walked out, rolling their eyes at the boys’ antics. They were both tall and drop dead gorgeous. One had long corn-silk yellow hair that fell nearly to her hips and fair skin, her eyes bright blue. The other was a few centimetres taller than the blonde woman and had deep brown skin, her coily curls styled in a fluffy afro that was decorated with golden cuffs. They matched the little septum ring she had piercing her nose. Her voice was even and had the gentle lilt of an Eyllwe accent, “Don’t mind them. They haven’t been all together for a while. You must be Elide.”

“Yes, that’s me,” she replied, still watching, half-concerned, as they pulled Lorcan up and he squared up with one of them, one who looked like him but gentler. More tame. “I’m Elide.”

She laughed a tinkling laugh, “It’s lovely to meet you, Elide. My name is Nehemia and the blonde one is my boyfriend.” Nehemia pointed out one of the men, his short hair styled in meticulous waves and bleached blonde. “His name is Fenrys, and then you have his twin, Connall,” Elide’s gaze slid to the next man, identical to Fenrys save for his hair – worn in a high-top twisted fade style and his natural colour. “Oh, sorry, I should let you say hello to Aelin here.”

Aelin laughed and nodded, pulling Elide into yet another hug, “Hi, I’m Aelin! It’s great to meet you, Elide.” She let Elide go and they all turned to watch the boys interact. Aelin pointed to the silver-haired man, “That’s my boyfriend, Rowan. The one that looks like Lorcan is Vaughan, they’re cousins. Vaughan and Lor grew up together here, but they all met in university.”

Lorcan turned, as if hearing Aelin’s voice and let out a shout, “G-Money?”

Elide and Nehemia chuckled as Aelin held her arms open and swaggered forth, “In the flesh.”

He laughed loudly and they hugged briefly before they began a complicated handshake, one with many steps and ending with a chest bump that nearly knocked Aelin on her ass. She just laughed and hugged him again, her feet lifting off the deck. He let her go and walked over to hug Nehemia, kissing her cheek, “Hey, Mia. Still with the pup?”

Nehemia laughed as Fenrys made an offended squawking sound and Elide was introduced to the boys. Aelin clapped her hands, “Alright, Elide, you need to change.”

Elide looked down at her clothes, confused, “Why?”

“We’re taking you out. Come on!”

She looked to Lorcan, eyes stricken, but he just shrugged, “Better get going, princess.”

Lorcan watched the boat depart, standing on the patio. He worried his bottom lip, fiddling with his leather watch strap as they drove off. Aelin and Nehemia had roped in his mother and sisters, strong-arming them into joining their outing.

He tried to not worry but Elide didn’t exactly have the best social interaction skills. She approached everything in life as if she were still in court and he wouldn’t be surprised if she clashed with one of the women and this whole mess became just that little bit extra messy.

He was still fiddling with his watch and staring at the empty ocean, the boat long gone, when Rowan walked out. “Lor,” he said, his hand resting on Lorcan’s shoulder. “You good?”

Lorcan smiled, pretending like Rowan could see right through him, and nodded, “Yeah, ‘m fine.”

Rowan sighed and rubbed his eyes, “What are you doing, Lorcan? You’ve hated this woman for years. Tell me what’s happening.”

His throat tightened as he searched for the right words. He didn’t want to lie to his best friend – his brother – but there was no other option. “I don’t know, Ro. Things changed.”

“That’s what you’re going with?” asked Rowan, his brows lowering as Fenrys, Connall and Vaughan slowly walked out, their faces unreadable. “’Things changed’?”

Breathing out slowly, Lorcan nodded. “It’s different now. I’m in love with her.”

Vaughan snorted and shook his head, “Whatever you say, L.”

“What—”

“I get lying to your sisters and aunt, but your mom? _Us_?” Hurt bled through Fenrys’ voice and Lorcan opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out.

Connall, ever the peacemaker, placated them, “Boys, let’s calm down, ok? Let’s give Lorcan the benefit of the doubt and not fight, agreed?”

They all muttered their agreement, but the look in their eyes told him this was far from over.

After two hours, their spat had been long forgotten and the boys were all sitting around a bonfire, smiling and laughing as they recounted tales of the days when they were youngins.

Right now they were laughing at Vaughan as Lorcan recalled one crisp November morning when he’d been called in a panic to drive the boat a couple islands over, where he’d found his cousin in his briefs standing on a cliff’s edge, terrified as he glanced over his shoulder and jumped into the sea, swimming to the boat as one of the elders yelled obscenities at him.

The sounds of people’s voices interrupted them and they looked up to find that the girls had arrived back. Elide and Aelin were walking together, chatting quietly. He wasn’t surprised that they got along at all.

When Elide’s eyes flicked to his, the light in them guttered and she grew sadder, deflating. If anyone noticed, they didn’t show it as the twins ran up to the bonfire and their attention shifted. Elide stayed in place as the girls joined them, Odette smiling and accepting bear hugs from all the boys. Quietly, Elide said, “I’ll be in the house.”

She neatly spun on her heel and walked away, the boys stiffening and shooting him dirty looks as Odette said, “You should go talk to her. There’s a surprise.”

Lorcan grimaced as he stood, “You know how I feel about surprises, _iná**_.”

“You’ll like this one though!” yelled Aneha, sticking her tongue out at him when he gestured rudely at her and nodded goodbye, his long legs not taking long for him to catch up with Elide.

She looked so much different in a pair of blue jeans and a lavender-coloured wool sweater, her hair in a thick braid that rested on one shoulder. “Elide, what’s wrong?”

Elide didn’t answer him until they had crossed the yard and entered the house. She toed off her slip-on sneakers and refused to look at him. “Elide. Tell me.”

“We’re getting married on Sunday.”

Lorcan’s breath left his lungs in a rushed exhale and he fought for air. “What are you talking about, it’s their birthday on Sunday, are you really trying to take that away from them?”

Elide snapped her head up, her eyes blazing, “No, of course not. I’m not some fucking prick who walks in and takes whatever she wants-“

“Could’ve fooled me,” he snarled, kicking off his shoes and pushing past her to the kitchen. “I need a drink and you need to explain yourself.” Lorcan sat at the bar but didn’t move to the liquor cabinet as Elide walked in, her brows lowered over ire-filled eyes.

“We were at Dresenda’s,” she said. Dresenda’s was the local pub, owned and operated by Essar’s sister. As she mulled over something, she pulled out a shaker and various liquor bottles, her motions like second nature as she mixed a drink. “And they asked me how it came to be, because for the last two years all they’ve heard is how much you hate me.” Elide’s voice didn’t diminish in pitch or strength, but he flinched all the same, regretting the fact that she knew just how badly he talked about her to his family.

“Elide-“

She didn’t give him a chance to say anything as she shook the mixer vigorously, “And then I said we wanted to wait, but we just didn’t care anymore. It was Sadirah’s idea and they all agreed, even Essar.”

“Ess was there?”

“Yeah, she was helping Dresenda with serving. She said she wanted you to be happy.” An uncomfortable silence fell over them and as if to break it, Elide pushed his glass towards him before she fiddled with her ring. “I got an email from Benson. He’s set up our scheduled interview and sent sample questions. I printed them out.”

He hated how quiet she had become, her words muted. From her back pocket, she pulled out a thick bundle of folded up papers, attempting to smooth them as she unfolded them. “Here.”

Lorcan took the papers and flipped through them, scoffing. “I know all of this already.”

“You do?” Elide took the papers back and her eyes widened as she scanned the list. “All of these?”

Chuckling, Lorcan sipped from his drink and was surprised, yet again, that she’d made something this good. “Try me.”

“Fine. Let’s see,” she perused the list, flipping back and forth before her eyes lit up. “Mm. How do I take my tea?”

“You don’t drink tea. You drink coffee, exclusively, and your usual is a sixteen-ounce cappuccino with one package of sugar – nothing else. Too easy, Lochan.”

Her eyes narrowed, “Fine. Do I have any scars?”

“Yep, one on your right ankle and I’m pretty sure you have a tattoo.” He leaned forward, swirling his drink around.

“Oh, ‘pretty’ sure?”

“Mm-hmm. Your dermatologist called a couple months back, asking about a Q-switch laser. Obviously, I searched it up and found out that it’s for—”

“Tattoo removal.”

“But you asked me to cancel the appointment. So. What is it?”

Elide shook her head, returning back to the questions, “We’re done with that.”

“You have to tell me, they’re going to ask—”

“I’m not telling you, so quit asking me,” she said, in a tone that brooked no arguments. “We’re done here.”

He didn’t know what he’d said to offend her as she hastily dumped the drink materials in the sink and turned on the tap, viciously washing as he slowly stood up and walked up to her side. “Are you going to tell me about that engagement bullshit you made up?”

“No.”

“Fine,” he seethed, angry at her for being so closed off, angry at her for being rude and unfeeling, angry at her for once again ruining everything. “Then at least tell me why you can mix drinks like this.”

Elide didn’t answer at first, but her scrubbing became gentler until she sighed heavily. “My uncle made me make drinks for him and his friends. During university, I got a job at a private bar and worked there until I started as crown counsel.” Her words became strangled and she coughed as she rinsed the shaker, not looking at him as she whispered, “And the story wasn’t bullshit, Salvaterre.”

Without another word, she put the clean dishes in the drying rack and disappeared down the hall, leaving Lorcan to the realization that he didn’t know a damn thing about Elide Lochan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Wayawakiya: School   
> **Iná: Mother


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to preface this: everything will be ok!

The day was half over already as Lorcan lounged around in Sadirah’s garden with his sisters, him and Aneha doing their best to distract the youngest sister as she worked her garden, muttering in Ozuye about how they were both clod-footed brutes that would ruin all her hard work.

They just laughed and continued on with their shenanigans, sneaking the weeds she pulled from the soil into her hair and flicking dirt across her face. Sadirah had always been the calmest of the siblings, always there to soothe hurt feelings and calm worked-up emotions so no one was surprised that she didn’t react, merely stared at them with a patient look. 

As far as things go, they all got on well, hardly ever fighting. With everyone having their own interest, there was no need to clash or compete to be the best. Sadirah was inclined to gardening and painting – most of the paintings in the house had been done by her, while Aneha was exceptional at music, specifically piano, and had a voice that could make the gods themselves weep. 

Eventually, it became clear that Sadirah wouldn’t crack so Lorcan and Aneha gave up, choosing to lie on the soft grass beside the patch of sweetgrass and white sage, the fragrant air soothing all his worries for now.

The gate opened and Lorcan cracked an eye open, thinking it was his mother, but no. It was Maeve. His sisters remained oblivious as Aneha braided flowers into his hair and Sadirah harvested sage and sweetgrass to dry in bundles and braids. Lorcan sat up, already nudging Aneha behind him as Maeve curled her lip at her great-nieces and nephew. “Lorcan. I need to speak with you.”

Sadirah froze and glanced over her shoulder, wrapping an arm around Aneha as she moved over to her side. Lorcan sighed and stood, leaning down to kiss their heads before stalking out of the garden, leaving his sister’s handiwork alone even as Maeve gave it a disapproving look. She had never liked his hair, but Lorcan refused to cut it, it would go against his faith and people.

“What is it,” he asked once they were out of earshot from the garden.

His great-aunt sighed and picked at her nails, “How long will this continue?”

“What are you talking about.”

“You’ve been in Doranelle long enough. It’s time to come back home so I can show you how to run the business. You’re just a secretary.”

Lorcan curled his hands into fists and his nostrils flared in anger. “I have a law degree, Maeve. Articling is something every law graduate is required to do.”

“And you’ve had your fun. But the family needs you back home. There is no one for me to pass on my business—”

“I swear to the fucking Creator, don’t tell me that bullshit again. You were an  _ investor _ , and your investment was paid in full a decade ago.  _ Mom _ is the one who sacrificed everything for her empire and you have yet to release it. You know nothing about how to run the businesses, and I have no interest. Do you understand that I’m a lawyer? Like, I  _ graduated _ law school. Like the way Elide is a lawyer.”

Maeve’s eyes flashed dangerously and Lorcan knew he would come to regret the words, but in the moment, he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to care. “That woman is no more fit to be a lawyer than you are. She—”

“Insult Elide to my face and we’ll see how that goes,  _ Auntie _ .”

“She is handicapped—”

“The fuck did I  _ just  _ say? If you want me home, talk to me fairly and speak with your chest. Elide has worked harder than anyone I know to get to where she is, not that you would understand that. I have half a mind to uninvite you to the wedding, but I won’t. Stay away from my family, Maeve,” he spat. Lorcan looked her up and down with a disgusted expression and shook his head, scoffing as he stormed away, too angry to begin thinking of the consequences.

Elide had just come out of the house from the quiet greenhouse when she’d heard terse voices arguing around the corner. Not wanting to interrupt anything, Elide stayed still, close enough to hear everything Lorcan had said. Something in her chest had tightened to hear Maeve insult her like that and then to have Lorcan defend her like that.

She waited another minute before walking out, leveling Maeve with a cold stare as she moved to follow Lorcan.

Only, she couldn’t find him and settled on leaving him alone to cool off. Elide sat on a bench overlooking an ocean cove and opened her book again, wrapping her cardigan further around her without taking her eyes off the page.

Fifteen minutes later, someone cleared their throat and she looked up, seeing Vaughan standing a few metres away. “Oh. Hello, Vaughan.”

“Hi, Elide. I’m sorry that we weren’t more accommodating yesterday. I was wondering if you’d like to go on a quick hike – a forest walk, really.”

Elide internalized her hesitation and nodded, “Sure.”

Vaughan nodded once and they were off, strolling along the cliff’s edge until they reached the trees. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

The man shrugged, “I’d like to get to know you better. Lorcan and I grew up together.”

Elide nodded, “Aelin told me you were cousins. Did you two grow up here?”

He barked a laugh and shook his head, “Oh, lords above, no. No, um, my parents weren’t… the best of parents and Odette took me in as a toddler so I consider her to be my mom and she sees me as a son. We lived on the Ozuye reserve on the mainland. Did Lorcan not tell you?”

She shook her head, the sun flickering through the canopy of pine trees, “No, he doesn’t talk about his childhood often.”

“Ah, well. His father was abusive and hit us all regularly. Lorcan suffered the worst of it,” his voice hitched and he cleared his throat before continuing, “I was smaller than him, so he would take my beatings and he could never stay in place while watching our mother be hurt.”

Elide’s heart clenched and she found herself saying slowly: “My guardian beat me.”

“They did?”

She swallowed past her tight throat. She had never been more keenly aware of her ankle right now. “My uncle. My parents died when I was young and he was given full custody.” The words died on the tip of her tongue and she couldn’t share with him the story of her ankle, not now, not with Vaughan. “What happened to the father?”

“He left after Odette got pregnant with the girls. Never saw or heard from him again. Odette began her first business and then the next and soon enough we were moving.”

They fell quiet and walked in an eerie silence that Vaughan eventually broke. “I’ve never seen Lorcan with anyone other than Essar, so I’m sorry if any of us are being rude. How the two of you act is very different. We all thought he would marry her one day.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. He even proposed.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, but she said no. They were young and they thought they were in love. Essar just knew she wasn’t ready and couldn’t stay with him. So, they broke up a week before they left for college and hardly ever spoke again.”

“Oh. That’s…” Elide trailed off as the path took them to yet another cliff, the water blue and sparkling ten metres below. “It’s beautiful here.”

“We used to come up here and cliff jump all the time.”

Elide’s eyes widened and she peered over the edge, a shiver running through her at the menacing rocks that appeared beneath the surface and the waves that slammed themselves against the rock face. “How did you not die?”

Vaughan laughed, “Run and shoot for distance. Maybe throw up a prayer beforehand.”

Elide chuckled and they sat on the edge, watching a pod of orcas circling a rock island, hunting for food. Eagles circled above in the sky and swooped in to clean off whatever the killer whales had left after the frenzy.

Vaughan stood and helped her up, “I should probably get you back. Wouldn’t want to worry your betrothed.” He winked and smirked as she attempted to smile, hating the guilt coiling in her gut.

When they got back, they found Lorcan at the woodpile, wearing a precariously cut tank top as he aggressively chopped wood, earbuds in. Vaughan made a face, “I’ll let you handle that.”

Elide laughed, “So gracious.” With a little salute, Vaughan sauntered off and Elide turned back to Lorcan who hadn’t even noticed anyone. His long hair was twisted in a loose braid and with every fall of the axe, a flower fell from it. Elide was transfixed by the sight, a filling warmth pooling low in her belly as she watched the cotton material of his top stick to his chest, enjoying the sight far too much.

She was a busy woman and hardly had time for  _ that _ but when Lorcan looked like… a god, she couldn’t help but entertain the idea before she felt her cheeks flush and she quickly walked away from the scene.

Elide wasn’t  _ blind  _ or stupid either, obviously she’d seen how good he looked over the past two years.  _ It’s not your fault, _ she told herself,  _ he wears all those… fitted suits and likes to roll up the sleeves of his shirts and he has all those tattoos… honestly, fuck him for having sexy forearms. _

Her cheeks were still bright red as she slipped into their room, walking straight into the bathroom and turning on the shower. As she waited for the water to warm up, she walked to the window, opening them and pushing them as far out as they would go to cool her face.

There was a dull, repetitive chopping sound and she looked down to see that Lorcan was almost directly beneath her, the blade of the axe flashing in the sun as he raised it and brought it down again. She didn’t know that Maeve’s comments had angered him this much. The black ink on his arms that creeped under his top to cover his back seemed to capture the sunlight that made his copper skin glow.

Before she could get too distracted by the sight of him, again, Elide stood up straight and undressed to enter the shower, resting her forehead against the tiled wall as she cursed everything and everyone.

She was in such deep, unending shit.

Music set on the highest possible volume, Lorcan cut firewood until his shoulders burned and his chest heaved, his lungs greedily searching for air. He let the axe fall to the ground with a heavy thump and used the hem of his shirt to wipe his brow. The braid that Aneha had made was coming undone, flowers lying crushed on the ground around him and chunks of hair falling free from the constraints.

Lorcan didn’t bother to fix it as he stalked towards the house in need of a shower. Usually, he could exercise massive amounts of self restraint, but somehow Maeve pushed every button possible until he exploded. He didn’t see her as he moved through the house and figured she’d slinked back to the guesthouse she insisted on occupying every time she visited. 

His earbuds were still in and he nodded in passing to the boys who were in the living room, playing some video game. Maybe he’d join them later.

Tapping his fingers against his thigh to the Dead Kennedys’  _ Too Drunk To Fuck _ , he entered his room, closing the door behind him and shucking his shirt off to the floor.

He went out to the balcony, flinging himself down on one of the chairs and slinging an arm over his eyes. Lorcan basked in the sun’s rays until it became too hot and he stood up, his music still playing far too loudly as he walked inside and dropped his shorts, tossing them onto the dresser as he turned to the bathroom, completely oblivious to everything. He could’ve sworn he heard something so he turned around, seeing nothing and walking backwards.

Suddenly, something rammed into his back and he whirled, catching whatever it was as they went down.

They fell to the floor and he looked down just as Elide, a very naked and wet Elide, looked up.

They both yelled and jumped away from each other as Elide held her arm over her chest and crossed her legs, “Why are you naked?!”

“Why are you wet?!” Lorcan yelled back, holding his hands in front of his groin.

“Don’t look at me,” she hissed, not moving until he turned and she hastily grabbed a towel from the armoire. Lorcan’s phone had fallen during their abrupt greeting and he bent down to get while Elide yelled again, “Anneith below, can you not?! I can see  _ everything _ .”

He quickly changed positions and tugged his shorts on, his face bright red as he turned and she demanded, "Explain yourself.”

“I didn’t see you! I was outside chopping wood,” he said, looking anywhere but his boss in a towel, skin gleaming.

“You didn’t hear me?”

“I was listening to music, princess. Why did you jump me?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “I did not  _ jump _ you. Well, I didn’t mean to. I forgot a towel after my shower and you were just there.”

Lorcan looked down at her suspiciously, “Were you trying to seduce me?”

She rolled her eyes, “Please. Don’t flatter yourself, it’s not cute.”

He smiled cockily, raising his hands, “It’s fine, you know. I get it, I’m sweaty, half-naked, you saw me chopping wood and it made you feel some type of way.”

“You stink. Go take a shower.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Elide just rolled her eyes again as he walked to the bathroom, stopping at the door and looking over his shoulder at her, “Don’t take this the wrong way…” her back was turned to him and he saw her tattoo, a delicate line of script written down her spine, with a mountain range on her right shoulder blade, a wyvern mid flight on her left. He fell silent, unable to form words.

“What?”

“You’re a very beautiful woman, Elide.”

“Shut up,” she said, though when she glanced back at him, her lips pulled into a small grin.

Aelin and Nehemia were near tears after Elide recounted an adjusted version of her and Lorcan’s sudden and wet incident. She got along really well with the both of them and once she remembered that this wasn’t supposed to last, her chest grew tight and she needed to have a drink.

Odette booted Rowan, Vaughan, Connall, and Fenrys from her living room to the patio. They all smiled at Aelin and Nehemia, the bright grins dampening as they saw Elide. “Oh. Hey, Elide.”

She pretended not to notice it and ignored the pang in her chest again. “Hey.”

Vaughan broke the awkward silence by sprawling on the couch next to her, practically crushing her into the cushion with his frame. “Gods, I rule at gaming. You guys wish you had my skills.” That seemed to do the trick and the boys were quick to argue, dissolving into petty bickering.

Nehemia helped Elide push Vaughan off and reassured her, “Don’t worry – they’re always like this.”

“The first few months were unbearable,” Aelin grumbled, scowling at her boyfriend who remained oblivious. “We were all in the same dorm and they fought  _ constantly _ .”

“What changed?”

“Please, don’t tell the story,” came another voice, deep and rumbling, and Lorcan came strolling out, in a pair of shorts and a band tee. He shoved Vaughan from the couch and sat next to Elide, nodding to her drink as he stretched his arms around the back of the couch, “Whatcha got there, princess?”

Elide rolled her eyes at the nickname, “Gin and ice. What’s this story?”

He groaned, dropping his head back. “I hate this story.” The boys chorused their agreement as Aelin exclaimed, moving to seat herself in Rowan’s lap. Everyone exchanged looks and scooted away from the affectionate couple.

“But I love this story.” Aelin pouted at him and Lorcan caved, waving his hand.

“Let’s hear it then.”

The afternoon bled into evening and then night, the sun setting and bathing Lorcan in golden and orange light. His arm had fallen down around her shoulders and she was tucked up into his side, his arm a welcome weight around her.

They had talked about everything, exchanging stories about everyone in rounds. It was Lorcan’s turn and they turned to Elide, waiting for something. Lorcan nudged her when she didn’t say anything, staring up at him in a soft silence. “El. Your turn.”

“Oh,” she sat up straighter, her side prickling at the loss of contact. He laughed quietly and pressed a kiss to the side of her head, tugging her back down. “A couple months before we got together, I was on this case and I fell asleep in the middle of the night in my office. I don’t even know why Lorcan was still there, but he woke me up and carried me to my car and drove me home.” Elide tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, running her finger over the rim of her copper mug. “And then he carried me to my apartment and put me to bed. It was really sweet and… nice.”

Elide was sure her cheeks were flushed as she grew warm and hid her face in Lorcan’s side as they teased him for going ‘soft’.

When Elide yawned yet again, Lorcan stood up and picked her up, “Night, guys. Gotta get my girl to bed.” She smiled sleepily at ‘my girl’ and nuzzled closer to him, softly sighing into his neck as they said goodnight and he carried her through the house to their room, gently putting her on the bed. “Princess, where’s your pj’s?”

She didn’t open her eyes, pointing randomly, “Bag. Big one.”

Huffing a laugh, Lorcan opened her bag, pulling out a pair of sweats and crewneck with the logo from her university. As he moved back to her side, he commented, “Always thought you were a satin and lace nightie type of gal.”

Elide cracked open an eye. “You think about what I sleep in? That’s not very professional,” she teased him, a cheeky glint in her eyes as she sat up and took the clothes from him, her movements stuttering as his smile dropped and he took a too-large step back.

“There’s a lot of not professional things about this, Elide.”

Her face fell and she nodded, standing and moving to the bathroom without another word.

Walking out, she found him shirtless, sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. Elide padded over to him, hesitantly reaching out and resting her hand on his shoulder. “Are you ok?”

Lorcan laughed harshly and moved away from her hand, “Am I ok? What do you think, Elide? You’re blackmailing me and making me lie to my entire family.” He stood up and began pacing as she slowly sat, her hands in her lap. “And, the thing is, we aren’t even in the clear! I could go to fucking prison for you and ruin everything I’ve worked for.”

“I’m—”

“You don’t even seem to care,” he spat, glaring at her. “What, is this just another Monday for you? What is so bad in Terrasen that you can’t move back there?”

Her head was tilted down and she wiped her eyes, sniffling once. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Lorcan, but you’re not the only person who’s had a hard life.”

She felt so small sitting there, her vision blurring. So very small and alone.

The bed dipped as he sat down next to her and awkwardly wrapped an arm around her, nothing like when they were outside with his friends. Elide half-wondered what had changed and as reality crashed down around her, she stood like his touch burned her and moved without word to her side, crawling in and turning on her side away from him.

It had all been for show. 

Gods, she was an idiot. 


	6. It Can Break Your Heart

Something warm was pressed into him, his arms holding something to his chest, his face pressed into the curve of someone’s neck.

Lorcan frowned, groggy as he lifted his head to find Elide in his arms. Her shirt had ridden up, his hands splayed across her taut stomach. He didn’t know what to do, not wanting to wake her and also not wanting to stay here, holding her as she slept. Never mind that he hadn’t slept that well in ages and that Elide fit so perfectly against him, he did _not_ like it. Not one bit. 

Deciding to wait, he tracked his eyes over her profile, the gentle slope of her nose and the way her rosy lips parted slightly. Every time she breathed out, the strands of hair that fell over her face floated up and floated down. She began to shift and he hastily moved his arms, turning away before she could fully wake up.

He pretended to be asleep as she shifted and the bed moved. Lorcan slowly got up, sitting against the headboard and looking over at Elide to say good morning. He had broken something new and fragile between them, but he didn’t know how to get back to what they had made. It was different last night, Elide tucked into his side, smiling and happy as they spoke. The words died in his throat and she looked back at him, her eyes closed off and face unreadable.

“Hello? Lorcan?”

Lorcan swallowed hard, his mouth dry as he rasped, “Is that my shirt?”

At some point during the night, Elide had swapped out her hoodie and sweats for one of his t-shirts that hit mid thigh. Her pale cheeks pinked and she ducked her head, fingering the worn cotton hem as she muttered, “I sleep cold and you’re a furnace.”

When he didn’t answer, too shocked by the sight of her, she shifted on her feet, crossing her arms, “Why are you staring like that?”

“’Cause you look good,” Lorcan breathed, unable to stop the words. “Really good.” He slowly raked his gaze up her body to hers, the glimmer of heat wiped from her eyes the moment their sights met. To change the subject, he quickly asked, “Where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m going on a run. Clear my head.”

“Ok. Um, can we- can we talk later?”

She nodded solemnly, grabbing a pair of leggings and a long-sleeved synthetic top. “Sounds good.”

“Alright, I’ll let you get on with your run.”

“See you.”

Her feet landed lightly on the soft trail, bouncy soil covered in pine needles and pinecones. _‘Cause you look good. Really good._

Anneith help her, that was so not helpful right now. Elide stopped at a fork in the path, hoping she could find her way to the ocean by following the waves.

What she heard was quiet, steady beats of a drum and voices reciting words in a language she didn’t know. Curiosity got the best of her though and Elide listened carefully and turned left, walking down the path.

As she walked further and further, the scent of sage grew and grew and she sighed, feeling the smoke wash over her. The path brought her to a secluded grove, where she saw three women kneeling, their backs to her.

Elide got the sense she shouldn’t interrupt this and slowly stepped backwards, the sound of a twig snapping under her foot deafening.

The rhythmic drumming and chanting stopped and as one, Odette, Aneha, and Sadirah turned, their faces suspicious until they saw her and smiled warmly. “Elide!”

“I’m sorry, I just heard the drumming and—”

Aneha shook her head and stood up, walking across the grove, a braid of sweetgrass in her hand. “We were just praying, you don’t need to apologize.” Slowly, as if she were shy, she asked, “Do you want to join us?”

“Oh, I don’t need to, I’ll just leave you all to pray. I’m sorry again.”

“Please? We’d like to share this with you,” Aneha pouted slightly, making her dark eyes wide and big. Elide relented with a nod and walked, hesitantly, to kneel beside Odette, Aneha on her other side and Sadirah on Odette’s other side.

“Do you know about the Ozuye?”

Elide shook her head, her hands folded in her lap. “Not much. Lorcan hasn’t mentioned it much.”

“Ah. Well, I’m not surprised,” Odette commented, commencing the gentle drumming. “Lorcan has had difficulty with his heritage.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said, her face growing sad. “My son never felt as though he belonged. The anger inside of him… is like nothing else. The hate he feels.” Sadirah and Aneha continued their prayers, beautiful words spilling from their lips. “In our language, there is not a word for hate and we don’t feel it, but Lorcan does. He feels love, just as much, but he’s always focused on the anger.”

“Vaughan told me about their… father.”

“That’s good. You should know. As I’m sure you know, Lorcan isn’t one to discuss his past. For a long long time, he was ashamed and ashamed of his shame. He lost his way.”

Elide stared down at her lap, her voice quiet. “I lost my way with my people.”

“Terrasenians?” Sadirah asked. 

She shook her head, “Blackbeaks. My father was from Terrasen, but my mother was from the Frozen Wastes. I stopped my practice when I left home.” She regarded the sage in Sadirah’s hand, watching the smoke. With a finger, she traced the sage that wafted over to her, reading the white smoke, “This is good. To us, it means this space is cleansed.”

Sadirah smiled excitedly, gesturing vaguely, “We’re performing a sun prayer right now, for the solstice.”

Elide had forgotten the solstice was approaching and shared a small grin with the younger girl, “It’s coming up soon. I always loved the summer solstice.”

Odette offered to teach Elide the prayer and the twins smiled wildly, with abandon, as she recited the words, her pronunciation far from perfect or even good, but Odette assured her the Creator didn’t care how it sounded, as long as the meaning was there.

The prayers wrapped up and as they stood, wiping the pine needles from their clothes, Elide asked Lorcan’s mother. “Did Lorcan ever find his way back?”

“Yes, he did,” Odette replied, her full lips pulling into a wide smile, her eyes crinkling. “You can always find your way back, Elide. Your gods haven’t left you, they’re just waiting for something. For some, it means meeting a woman they describe as Death’s consort, but your moment will come, my dear.”

“Are you telling tales about me, _iná_?”

They turned to find Lorcan leaning against a tree, something unreadable in his eyes as he looked at Elide. Odette rolled her eyes, “You didn’t think to join us?”

Lorcan shrugged, “Didn’t want to interrupt. El, we’re going into town.”

Her brow furrowed, “For what?”

“Your parcel,” he said, arching a brow. “You coming?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll see you all later,” she said, accepting the hug they all enveloped her in. “Thank you.” Elide walked backwards away from the grove, silently thanking her goddesses and respectfully dismissing them.

As they walked back up the path, Elide studied Lorcan, Odette’s words ringing in her mind. He glanced down at her, his brows creasing, “What is it?”

Elide just shook her head, “Nothing.”

After picking up her new phone, Lorcan took her to a café and steered her towards an empty table as she set up her phone. “Remind me again why I broke my old phone?” When he opened his mouth to say something, she held up her finger, “That was a rhetorical question, Salvaterre.”

Lorcan chuckled, “Enough said. Do you want something to eat?”

“No, thank you, just water? Please.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say please and thank you this much,” he teased her as he stood up to wait in line. Lorcan glanced out the window and did a double take. Elide followed his gaze to where Essar was, oblivious to Lorcan as she led a group of children, all holding hands. “On second thought, give me just a minute.”

Lorcan left before she could say anything and she watched him walk up to Essar, who smiled brightly up at him. Elide paused in her setting-up, watching them as they spoke and Lorcan crouched down in front of a child, his face bright and joyful. She’d never seen him this happy.

Swallowing past her tight throat, she listened through her messages, smiling triumphantly as the courts called back, asking her to call them as soon as possible to schedule an appeal. Excited, she hastily gathered her shiny phone and the box it came in, rushing out to tell Lorcan. “Lorcan!”

He turned to her, a brow raised, “Yes?”

“We got it, we got the appeal!”

He gasped, “Really?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, laughing as he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her, picking her up and swinging her around. “We got it.”

As he put her down on her feet, his eyes tender and soft, “You’re fucking amazing, Lochan.”

“Language,” she murmured, reaching up to pick a pine needle off the collar of his sherpa jacket and giving a pointed look to the children. Lorcan chuckled and rolled his eyes as she turned to Essar, “I’m sorry, there’s just this case and it got appealed and it’s just a whole big thing.”

“Well, I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m happy for you two. I should be getting the kiddos back to school, but I’ll see you guys on Sunday. Say bye-bye to our friends,” Essar said to the children and they all yelled good-bye, still holding hands as they waved.

Lorcan and Elide laughed and waved goodbye as Essar led the children down the sidewalk. “I can’t believe you actually got the appeal.”

“Are you dissing my mad lawyer skills?”

He laughed and shook his head, “Nah, no way. It’s more like Cairn fucked it up so bad and the judge hates him.” His arm was slung over her shoulder and she bumped him with her hip, scrunching her nose up as he made a face and stuck his tongue out at her.

“You’re a child.”

He opened his mouth to reply when they heard someone calling their names. They looked behind them at Sadirah who ran up to them. “Hey! Elide, do you mind coming with me? There’s something for you.”

“What, I can’t see it?”

“Nope. Top secret, big man. You’ll find out soon enough,” she said, tugging on Elide’s hand. “You’ll see her later, gods above, _go_!”

He held his hands up in surrender and backed away, “I’ll be at the boat when you’re ready, princess.” 

Sadirah pulled Elide into a shop above Dresenda’s, refusing to answer any of her questions. Elide only became more confused when she saw Aneha, Odette, Aelin, and Nehemia waiting in chairs in what appeared to be a seamstress’ atelier. “What’s happening?”

Aneha stepped up, a garment bag in her hand, “Go into the back and change!”

Elide dutifully took the bag and passed into the closed off area, her breath catching as she unzipped the bag and revealed to herself a white silk dress, no extra beading or decorations save for painstaking pleats and beautiful mother-of-pearl buttons. 

Her throat ached with tears as she changed into it, the gown fitting like a glove. It wasn’t particularly figure-showing or revealing, but beautiful, nonetheless. The sleeves were loose until they cuffed just below the elbow, pearl buttons running up the sides. The curtain moved to the side and Odette stepped in, smiling as she zipped up the back, “Thought you might need some help.”

Elide smiled gratefully, pressing her lips together to keep her tears at bay. She breathed out slowly, smoothing her hands over the bodice, her fingers tracing the decorative pearl buttons that went up her sternum to a dropped v-shaped neckline. “It’s beautiful.”

“It was my mother’s. It was a scandal, you know, the marriage. You see, she was from the Toka nation – the Ozuye’s long-time foe. But still, she married my father and we had a happy life.” Odette gently undid Elide’s ponytail from her run and gathered her hair in a low bun. “Lorcan looks at you the same way my father did my mother. I hope you know just how much he loves you.”

“I do,” Elide replied, tears pooling in her eyes.

They heard Aelin holler, “Well, come on out! We want to see!”

Elide and Odette chuckled, “Always a rebel rouser, that one.” Odette kissed Elide’s cheek and opened the curtain to usher her out.

They all squealed and clapped as Elide stepped onto the pedestal, looking at herself in the mirror. Admittedly, she looked gorgeous, and Aneha stepped closer, scrutinizing with a pincushion on her wrist. “How does it feel?”

“Perfect, really. Except for maybe the waist,” she pulled in the extra fabric and Aneha nodded, her eyes narrowing as she pinned the dress in place.

She moved to the back and pulled at the shoulders, “I’ll fix these, as well, just raise them a bit. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Elide murmured, looking at Odette as she walked up with a jewellery box in hand.

“Here, we thought you might need something borrowed or blue.” She opened the box and lifted out a dainty silver chain with an oval-shaped blue jade. Odette stood behind Elide, bumping her daughter out of the way to gently lay it around Elide’s throat.

The stone was cool against the skin of her chest and she gasped a bit at the feeling as Odette put her hair back in a twist, clipping a tortoiseshell hair clip around her hair.

Elide barely heard their compliments as she stared at herself, her eyes welling. She’d forgotten what this was all like.

Lorcan was sitting in the boat, reclined and dozing in the warm sun when he was woken abruptly by Elide, her eyes red-rimmed. “Can we go.”

“What happened—”

“I need to get out of here, so can you please just drive?” He didn’t ask any more questions and steered the boat out of the marina. “Move over. I want to drive.”

“Elide, wait—”

She pushed him out of the way and grabbed the wheel, pushing on the lever until they were cruising at max speed, slicing aggressively through the water. Lorcan let out a shouted curse and grabbed onto the window, eyes wide and on Elide as she drove. “What are you doing? What happened?”

“Your family loves you, you know that?”

“Yes, I fucking know that! Why are you going so fast, what happened?”

“You know that they love you and you’re still lying to them!”

“What did you think was going to happen when we got up here?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think about it!” In a flash, she let go of the wheel and stumbled to the seat as Lorcan swore and caught it, still remaining at the top speed as he yelled at her.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever fucking heard in my life, Elide.”

“I forgot, ok?!”

“Forgot what?”

“I forgot what it’s like to have a family, you bastard! I’ve been on my own since I was fourteen and spent all my time studying to get away from Perranth! I forgot what it’s like to have people love you and hug you just because and give you necklaces and ask to spend the holidays with you! And you have that here and I’m just ruining _everything_!” ”

Lorcan didn’t know where this was coming from and he got angry, “You didn’t fucking think about that? No, of course you didn’t! Of course, you didn’t think about how this could fuck up my entire life because all you care about is you! You’re the most selfish person I know, Elide!” There was a buoy in his path and he swerved violently to avoid it. “Hellas below, I get that you’re freaking out, but you can’t just commandeer a boat you don’t know how to drive!”

He finally slowed the boat and waited for her reply, only, it never came. Lorcan scoffed, “Oh, yeah, that’s real mature, princess, just ignoring- Elide?” he turned around and didn’t see her. Confused, he glanced around, wondering where she could’ve gone. He bent down, wondering if she’d maybe crawled under the bench.

Somebody screamed and he looked up in his wake, seeing somebody thrashing in the water. “Shit, shit, shit, Elide!” Pale hands broke the surface and bubbles popped up as she fought to reach air.

The ocean was bitingly cold and wet, dark all around her. She couldn’t breathe, saltwater shoving up her nose and burning in her throat. She thrashed, fighting to get to the surface and a breath of air. As she broke free, she screamed, hearing him yell for her to swim to the buoy.

Using all her strength, Elide made her way to the metal structure, grabbing the iron rung of the ladder and clinging to it. Elide climbed up carefully, not moving her legs until she had a death grip on the next rung.

Waves splashed against her as Lorcan slowly approached her, reaching a hand out. “Grab my hand, Elide.”

She glanced fearfully at the water, his hand, and the boat, judging the distance to be too great and shook her head. “It’s too far. I’m going to fall.”

”Every time you fall, I promise I will catch you, just grab my hand.” She didn’t move. “Princess.” Slowly, she stretched her arm out and grabbed his wrist. “There you go, it’s ok, let go of the ladder.”

She did and he pulled her through the water to the boat, tugging her up effortlessly and sitting her on the plush leather seat, kneeling down and grabbing a blanket from one of the compartments. Her whole body was wracked with great big shivers and he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, sitting next to her and pulling her into his lap. He shucked off his thick sweater, draping it over her as well. 

Lorcan rubbed her arm, getting the blood flowing through her body as she shook. “Why would you do that, you know you can’t swim,” he berated her, his heart still slamming in his chest as he started the boat again. Elide pressed her face into his neck, the tip of her nose freezing against his warm skin. “You just can’t go around trying to drown yourself when you’re insulted, Elide.”

Elide’s teeth were clacking loudly together as she said, “You made me fall in, bastard. It’s all your fault.” She knocked her forehead against his jaw and glared up at him, nothing like the intimidating scowl that was usually directed at him. “You lost me.”

He shifted her so he could wrap his other arm around her as well and still keep a hand on the wheel. “I will always find you, Lochan. I promise.” Elide looked up at him, something warming in her heart. “Ok?”

She nodded and tucked herself further into his chest, “Ok.”

Lorcan smiled down at her, smiled at the way she folded herself into him so naturally and felt something stir in his chest, similar to what he’d felt holding her this morning in their bed. Only this time, he let himself hold her tighter and his grin grew wider, unbeknownst to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's cute, right?


	7. It's So Unusual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things get like...a lil steamy

When they got back home, Lorcan didn’t put her down until he got to their bathroom. Even then, he kept her lofted with an arm as he turned on the shower and left her to it, hanging a towel on the heated rack.

He couldn’t find her sweats and hoodie and he highly doubted she would appreciate it if he went through her stuff, so he grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and an old hoodie from high school, jogging down to the laundry room and tossing them in the dryer.

By the time he got back, the shower was still running and he cracked the door open, holding out the clothes. “El?”

“Yeah?”

“I got you some dry clothes when you’re ready.”

“Ok. One sec.” The water stopped and he heard the glass door open, small feet padding across the tiles to the towel rack. She moaned softly, “Is this thing _heated_?”

Lorcan chuckled, “Yeah? What about it?”

“That’s bougie.” Her face peaked through the crack as she took the clothes from him, grinning as she hugged them to her chest. “Did you put these in the dryer for me?”

Lorcan’s cheeks reddened and he rubbed the back of his neck, “…yeah.”

“I knew you were a softie.” Her eyes were soft, her smile missing the sharp edge of a teasing smile. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get your cute ass dressed.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

He just rolled his eyes and walked away to the balcony and looked down as the other boat approached. He recognized Aelin with the twins walking up the boardwalk first and then Nehemia and Odette at the rear.

Aelin and Aneha were a terrifying duo and Aelin pointed up at him before turning, pretending to make out with someone. Aneha roared in laughter, holding her stomach as she bent over, and he flipped the two of them off. He was about to yell something rude and vulgar and most likely graphically threatening when Elide padded out onto the balcony, looking down as she rolled down the waistband of his sweats so that they wouldn’t fall to her feet. 

Lorcan turned to look at her, something melting as his heart fluttered as she walked up to his side and peered down at the ground, waving at Aelin and Aneha, laughing loudly. “Don’t encourage them,” he said. Elide smirked, her teeth still chattering slightly. “Are you still cold?”

“A bit, it’s not bad though.”

He frowned and threw her over his shoulder without warning, chuckling darkly at her shriek. Lorcan carried her to the bed and tossed her down on the mattress. When she landed abruptly, a soft grunt was pulled from her lips as she glared up at him. “That wasn’t very nice.”

“I thought you would’ve figured it out by now,” Lorcan said mildly, pulling the duvet back and tucking it around her. “I’ve never been nice.”

Elide rose a brow, “You’re fussing.”

“I am not,” he hissed as he unfolded a quilt and spread it over her. “I’ll be right back.”

“Mmkay. Bye-bye,” she sang-sung, snuggling down into the pile of pillows.

Elide was asleep when he walked back in, a mug of tea in hand. Lorcan watched her for a few moments, standing still in the doorway as someone cleared their throat and he looked over his shoulder, seeing Fenrys and Rowan standing there. “Hey. Can we talk?”

He sighed through his nose, not ready to have another argument about this. “Fine.” Lorcan kept the mug in his hands as he closed the door, keeping it open a smidge. “Out with it.”

Rowan winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.”

“Did V and Con make you do this?”

Fenrys shook his head and remorse shone in his eyes. “Nah, man. We were wrong to not give you guys a chance. I guess ‘cause you were coming back up and Ess moved back and everything… we kinda thought you guys might start up again.”

Lorcan groaned, “Hellas, man, Ess and I are long over. And not just because we broke up, I mean… we were kids, alright? We wouldn’t have worked out in the long run and we both would’ve felt stuck. I’d never want to do that to her. I’m truly happy with Elide.”

Rowan nodded and shared a look with Fenrys. “We’re sorry. We kinda realized it was real shit last night. She couldn’t stop looking at you and, like, wanted to hear every story about you. Where’s she at right now? We owe her an apology too.”

Lorcan glanced back into the room, “She’s asleep. I took a turn too fast in the boat and she fell in. You can talk tomorrow.”

“Ok. Um, are we good, then?”

Lorcan smiled and nodded, dapping the two of them up, “Yeah, you’re good. I’ll see you all tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. We’ll let you get back to your girl. Bye,” Fenrys said, his eyes lighter as they turned and walked back down the hallway.

Lorcan walked into the bedroom, the door clicking shut behind him. He looked up at Elide, finding her awake and looking at him with saddened eyes. “What’s wrong, E?”

“Everything you said on the boat is true, you know,” she said, her voice small. “I am selfish and I don’t think about others.”

He crossed the room and handed her the mug, “Drink. You’ll get warmer.”

Elide carefully took it and blew on the top, sipping slowly and sighing. She patted the mattress beside her. “Sit.” Lorcan obliged her and crawled under the blankets, waiting for her to talk again. “Vaughan told me about your dad and growing up on the reserve.”

“He did?”

“Yes. And… I’m sorry for shutting down your questions the other night. I owe you answers.” Elide drank from her mug and then put it on the nightstand. “The story I used for your proposal is how my dad asked my mom. I would beg him to tell me it every night before bed.” She chuckled tearfully, looking down at her hand, “The ring is my mother’s. I managed to hide it all those years after they died - my uncle got custody.”

“The one you made drinks for?” Lorcan asked quietly, gently reaching out and taking her hand in his. He pressed soft kisses to each of her fingertips before dropping their joined hands in his lap and playing with her slim fingers, tracing the elegance of her hands. 

“Mm-hmm. He was in charge of the main kingpin’s money and all of his… friends came around a lot, so he made me learn how to serve them. One night,” she shuddered, reaching down to trace the scar on her ankle, “when I was maybe eleven or twelve, they were all drunk and he let one of his friends take me into a room.” Her eyes filled with tears and they fell down her cheeks as she continued, not noticing how still and horrified Lorcan had become. “He grabbed me and forced me down and I bit his hand. He threw me into the basement and smashed my ankle with a hammer.”

Lorcan pulled her into his lap, holding her close. He cupped the back of her head, just holding her as she told him, her voice breaking, “My uncle said that since it was my fault it broke, he wouldn’t take me to the hospital.” Lorcan’s heart shattered into a million pieces right then and there as rage coursed through his veins and he had to remind himself that Elide was there, in his arms, and safe. _She was safe._ “That’s why I went to law school. I didn’t want any other kids like me growing up with people like him.” Resting her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him, her cheeks wet.

“I don’t know what to say.”

Elide shook her head, “You don’t have to. Just be here with me. Say you won’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured, settling down under the covers. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“You choose,” she whispered, her eyes already falling shut as she flipped the hood of his hoodie over her head. Elide shifted, lying down next to him and hitching her leg over his hip, an arm on his chest and the other folded and wedged between them. She rested her head on the soft hollow of his shoulder, her fingers toying with the silver chain around his neck. “I like _Bambi_.”

“Oh gods, I’m gonna cry if we watch it, princess.”

She laughed and pressed her lips against his chest, not quite a kiss – just a gentle touch, a reassurance to her that he was still there.

Elide had fallen asleep after watching the first ten minutes of _Bambi_ and when she roused again, it was dark outside and the TV was black. She had been moved in her sleep. Lorcan was sitting up against the headboard and she was in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, her knees outside either hip.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that he had one hand splayed across her lower back and in the other he held his phone. 

Slowly, she lifted her face from where it was buried in his neck and sat up straight, holding her face centimetres from his. 

He flicked his eyes to her, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Hey, you.”

“Hi,” she whispered, her voice scratchy and hoarse from disuse. “Whatcha looking at?”

“Ae sent me songs for the first dance. I like this one,” Lorcan tapped on the screen and music poured from speakers on either side of the bed, bright violins with simple hi-hat drum beats. They listened in silence as _Too Late To Turn Back Now_ played.

The gentle music was accompanied by smooth, emotion-stirring voices that seemed to make the genre. Elide listened to the lyrics, telling herself it didn’t mean anything that Lorcan liked this one – he most likely wasn’t even thinking about the lyrics.

As the song came to an end, she whispered, “I like it. But…”

“What?”

“I don’t know how to dance.”

Elide whined in the back of her throat as Lorcan shifted and stood up, holding a hand out to her. “C’mere.”

Smiling, she took his hand and he easily pulled her to him, her free hand resting on his shoulder. He looked down at her, his face open as he settled his hand on her waist and gently led her through the steps. “We don’t have any music, Lorcan.”

Lorcan spun her under his arm and began to sing the same song, his lovely baritone carrying them through the dance. Every time she stumbled, he caught her, just like he promised he always would. His singing melted into humming as he dipped her. Frozen in one perfect moment, they stared into each other’s eyes, unbridled emotion brimming in their dark irises.

She wasn’t sure who moved first, wasn’t sure of anything as their lips touched and her mind blanked. Lorcan pulled away first, the tips of their noses brushing together as he tracked something in her eyes. Slowly, he stood up straight, pulling their joined hands to the middle of his chest. Elide rose on her tiptoes, her free hand resting on his ribcage as he cupped the back of her head, no words exchanged between them as they kissed again.

It was slow and soft, the way their lips moved together. Her heart filled with something she couldn’t describe while Lorcan parted her lips with the tip of his tongue. Elide gasped softly into his mouth at the first touch of his tongue against hers and kissed him harder, “More.”

He huffed a laugh against her lips and let her hand fall in favour of grabbing her waist and lifting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist instinctively as she threaded her hands into his hair. “Bed,” she whispered, tugging on the inky strands. His hands slid under her thighs, holding her up.

Lorcan made himself pull back once more, almost ready to fall to the ground to worship her for the rest of his days as he looked up at her, swallowing once, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she breathed, kissing him again as he walked them to the bed, gentle as he laid her down amidst the blankets and pillows. Elide read the look in his eyes, something warm pooling in her core at the promises held in the onyx irises. “I want this. I need this. _You_.”

A wicked grin spread over his lips as she pressed a hand against his chest and pushed him up. Her eyes locked on his as she pulled his hoodie up over her head and threw it to the side, not caring where it landed. She bit her lip as his jaw slackened and her back arched under his hungry gaze.

She took her time undressing, until she was bare beneath him, smooth skin and sinful curves bared for him to see. A large hand slid down her side, rough calluses catching on her skin. Lorcan dipped his head, his lips travelling across her flesh. He let his lips part to taste her, murmuring, “Beautiful.”

The word curled and settled in the depths of her guarded heart, sending a whole warmth flowing through her being. Soft sighs and moans spilled from her throat as Lorcan traced her body with his lips and tongue and teeth. His hands and the feeling of his silky hair in her fingers grounded her when the pressure in her bones grew and grew. She crashed into bliss when he looked up at her through his lashes, settled between her legs, forgetting she wasn’t just a feeling as he pleasured her. 

Rising above her, running his hands down her sides in soothing motions to bring her down again, Lorcan’s gaze was heavy and heated, their lips greedy as they kissed.

Elide could feel his arousal pressed against the inseam of her thigh and moaned, reaching down between their bodies to wrap her hand around his length. She smiled proudly when he swore into her mouth and bowed his head, watching her as she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his sweats and tugged them down. A whine formed in the back of her throat when he didn’t move an inch. “Lorcan.”

Lorcan grinned at her neediness and helped her pull his clothes from his body until they laid bare together. Elide squeezed her thighs around him, indicating she wanted to switch. He rolled them, looking up at her with something heavy and too big for the two of them.

Sitting up, he kissed her as she lined herself up with him and sunk down, her eyes fluttering as he filled her. Lorcan stayed still, panting at the feeling of her surrounding him, waiting for her to move.

“ _Oh_ ,” she moaned as she moved up and down on him. His chest was soon a map of crescent nail marks and red scratches that stood out against his brown skin.

Lorcan’s hands slid down her torso, guiding the rolling movements of her hips. He begged her, whispering onto the slick skin of her neck, “Don’t stop.”

The room was soon filled with desperate sounds and voices, pleading with each other as they chased their release. They wrapped their arms around each other, pressing into each other and still, the need to hold the other closer and closer was barely satisfied.

Lorcan found his release first, his lips parted as he shuddered beneath her. He cupped the side of her neck as he kissed her, whispering to her, “Let go, princess.”

This time, when she fell, she was not scared.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“My favourite fruit is mango,” he replied, speaking into the soft skin of her belly, his arms wrapped around her thighs. Elide huffed, her hands stopping their path in his hair. He whined, looking up at her, eyes wide and begging, full lips twisted into a pout.

She rolled her eyes and continued, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Ah-ah, you didn’t set any guidelines. Your turn. Tell me something.”

“I went into the bathroom and cried after Cairn called me a cold-hearted, crippled bitch,” she whispered, the tightness of her heart easing when Lorcan dusted sweet kisses over whichever patch of skin he could find, the t-shirt of his that she wore riding up as he moved upwards, his teeth grazing the skin of her chest. “Your turn.”

“I hate Cairn.” She laughed and he kissed her, wanting to taste the joyful sound. “Tell me about your tattoos.”

She nipped his bottom lip, soothing over the slight sting with a flick of her tongue. Turning over onto her stomach, Elide motioned for him to sit up and push her shirt up, until the mysterious ink was revealed. It was beautifully done, the wyvern so detailed he got shivers just looking at it. Reaching out, he trailed his fingertips almost reverently over the artwork as she opened her mouth, telling him what the ancient letters down her spine said and how she honoured her parents with the mountains and beast. 

The night passed them by as they spoke quietly, baring their souls to each other in each word, each kiss, each touch - each movement - designed to bring the other pleasure until they tumbled into a deep slumber. They didn’t notice the sun rising over them, their bodies entwined like skeins of silk.


	8. I Believe I Believe I Believe

Lorcan was the first to wake. He yawned, turning his head from where it was buried in the crook of Elide’s neck to look outside at the sunny skies. Only a few fluffy clouds dotted the blue expanse.

He looked back at the bed, looking at how they were tangled together in a comfortable mess. They were both on their stomachs, Elide sprawled out half-beneath him, one of his legs slotted between hers. Her arms were tightly wrapped around a pillow and she had the most adorable scrunch on her brow, her full lips twisted into a pout when he moved and the duvet shifted. Goose flesh erupted over her bare skin and he leaned down, brushing his lips over her tattoo. 

Elide hummed softly, smiling as he chuckled dryly and continued, not one to deny her a single pleasure. 

Slowly, he moved up the curve of her shoulder, his lips softly drawing her from her deep slumber. Lorcan knew she was awake by the time his teeth grazed against her jaw, but she let him be as he continued his path. He pulled back, smiling at her whine of protest that he quickly soothed by pressing his lips to the head of her inked wyvern

She hummed again and twisted beneath him, reaching up to cup his cheek. “It’s sunny,” she whispered, pulling back to look him in the eye, her thumb stroking over his cheekbone. 

Lorcan rose a brow, “It seems we have a detective in our midst. Tell me, princess, how _did_ you deduce that?” 

“I’m a gal of many talents,” she whispered with a hoarse voice, shifting beneath him and wrapping her legs around his waist as she looped her arms around his neck. Lorcan smiled and tilted her chin up, kissing her again.

A needy sound formed in her throat and Elide deepened the embrace, not satisfied until he gave into her borderline desperation. She craved him, like nothing she’d ever felt before, a yearning that was hardly satiated even with him in her arms. 

It seemed as though Lorcan felt the same as he started to move down her body, his destination clear. Only, they were interrupted by the growling of her stomach and he laughed, propping himself above her. “You hungry?” 

Lorcan caught the wicked glint in her eyes too late before she was expertly flipping them and bracing her hands against his chest. “For _food_ , El.” 

She just winked and lowered herself, skipping his lips and trailing hers down his jaw and throat, her hands travelling over his sides. He sucked in a breath when her nails scraped over his ribs and she moved lower, kneeling between his legs. “Princess,” he ground out, his hands fisted in the sheets. 

“Yes?” she asked him, making her slender eyes wide and innocent. 

“Stop being distracting.” 

“Why?” Fuck her for pouting, that was a dirty move. And taking him in her hand, that was just cruel. 

“Elide,” he panted, locking his jaw as she trailed her tongue over the tendril of ink that crept over his hip and connected to the artwork on his back. 

There was more than a little smugness in her eyes and voice, “Use your words, baby.” 

“We have to…” Lorcan trailed off, suddenly very unable to figure out why he was debating this. 

“Are you saying no?” 

Half an hour later, a satisfied Lorcan was shaking his head as a cocky Elide threw him a saucy smirk over her shoulder and practically skipped down the hall, her happy laughter echoing through the house. 

Elide was wearing a pair of his boxers and an old hockey jersey of his from highschool, one of the sleeves slipping down her shoulder while he was clad in his classic low-slung sweats and nothing else. 

The kitchen was empty when they got there and he nudged her to a barstool while he got their food ready. Someone had already been up and filled the coffee pot, so as Lorcan gathered the necessary ingredients, Elide poured them mugfulls and put his down on the counter next to him. She rose to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and spun away before he could wrap his arms around her. 

Lorcan focused back on the waffle batter and he swore, he tried to pay attention, he really did, but then music started playing and Elide was dancing, her hips swaying hypnotizingly to the beat. 

She was so caught up in her sultry dance that she didn’t notice she’d danced herself to him, bumping into Lorcan and startling. Before she could evade his grasp again, he gripped her hips and pulled her back against him, “You said you couldn’t dance.” 

Elide smiled and put her coffee down, twisting to face him, “Mm, I don’t know how to do _ballroom_ dancing.” 

“You’ve been holding out on me, Lochan,” he said, teasing as he faked a glare down at her. 

Shrugging, she turned again and slipped from his arms, continuing her previous movements. Lorcan made a sound of protest, his mouth popping open as Elide looked back at him and cackled. He frowned and she only laughed louder, clutching her stomach as she bent at the waist. 

“Oh, really? That’s, that’s how it is then, huh?” 

It took a few seconds for Elide to calm down enough to say to him: “Lemme, let me just think… oh, oh wait. Yeah, that’s how it is.”

“You’re a fucking brat. I don’t like you very much.”

Elide nodded, very convinced as she scooped up her coffee again and hopped up onto a barstool, happy to sit back and watch him. 

He noticed her watchful gaze, of course he did, and commented, without looking at her, “You could help me if you wanted.” 

“Now why would I do that, when I could sit down, enjoy my coffee and watch a fine-ass man do it for me?” 

He couldn’t argue with that and rolled his eyes at her, shaking his head as he poured the batter into the waffle iron. 

As they ate, they were joined by Fenrys, Rowan, Connall, Vaughan, Aelin, and Nehemia. The boys were already cheery, smiling easily at Elide as she said hello and told them to serve themselves.

Aelin was nearly comatose, moving on autopilot as she loaded her plate and filled the tea kettle. As she waited for the water to boil, she plopped herself down next to Elide. 

The breakfast table was in a cozy nook, set in bay windows with cushioned benches. Nehemia joined the girls on one of the couches, silently sipping her coffee. The colourful scarf on her head that amassed her curls to the top of her skull was at odds with the stormy expression on her ethereal face. Fenrys helpfully supplied: “Mia isn’t exactly a morning person. Ain’t that right, baby?” 

Nehemia glared at him and to his credit, he only winced after she had shut her eyes, still half-asleep. Aelin perked up when Rowan placed her cup of tea in front of her and kissed the top of her head, murmuring something in a language foreign to Elide’s ears. 

Soon enough, the table was crowded and they were all talking loudly above one another. Elide mainly observed, letting Nehemia lean on her as she ate her waffles. Aneha joined them a little later, saying that her twin was working on her next masterpiece and couldn’t possibly grace the peasants with her presence. 

It was chaotic and abrasive, but Elide had never felt happy like this, feeling like she had finally found her people. Feeling someone’s eyes on her, she looked up and met Lorcan’s soft gaze, his dark eyes open and depthless. 

Suddenly, it felt as though everything else slowed and nothing else mattered but them and this moment. Later, after the kitchen had been cleaned and everyone was fully awake, the boys decided to live out their days of youth and go cliff-jumping. Aelin was game, while Nehemia said she’d stay in the boat and Elide agreed with her. 

It was cold and Elide snuggled down into Lorcan’s fleece pullover, agreeing with Nehemia when she told the gang that they were crazy. They had taken the deck boat, not the sleek speedboat, to fit everyone and Elide and Nehemia were currently curled up on the leather bench-seat, huddled under a blanket and everyone else’s coats and jackets. 

They dropped anchor about fifty or so metres from the rock face and the boys shoved each other out of the way as they raced to the water, swimming fast to the cliff. Rowan touched the rock first, but Aelin was quick in the water, wrapping a hand around his ankle and yanking him back beneath the waves. 

They brawled it out while the twins passed them and were quick to scale the cliff. Nehemia cheered as Fenrys made it to the top first and roared his victory to the skies, taunting the rest of them as they made their way up.

Elide chuckled as Lorcan and Rowan started boxing, her heart clenching as they got too close to the edge, but thankfully Aneha shouted and pulled them back, berating them as she slapped them upside the head. 

The brothers looked at each other and nodded, easily picking her up and tossing the brunette out. Aneha screamed obscenities as she fell, managing to land in a cannonball. 

As she surfaced, she treaded water and yelled, “I’m gonna fucking kill you!” 

“Are they always like this?” Elide asked Nehemia, eyes on Lorcan as he took a running start and leaped, twisting and flipping off Aneha as they passed each other, one falling through the air and the other climbing back up. 

“All the time,” Nehemia said, grinning as she procured a silver flask from where it had been stashed somewhere in the boat and two red cups. Elide’s grin matched hers and they poured themselves cup fulls, spending their day by drinking and judging the jumps, either booing or calling out appraisals.

The day passed them by slowly and it was a while before everyone swam back to the boat. When Aelin sat on Rowan’s lap and when they pulled the blanket over their heads, the rest of the group yelled and threw their empties at them. 

Lorcan groaned in disgust and hid his face in Elide’s shoulder, pulling her half in front of him. She rolled her eyes and leaned back into him, smiling as he lifted his head and rested his chin on the top of her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

They had driven back to the house and after everyone had changed into warmer clothes, their shivers mostly gone, they began the lengthy discussion of what to do for lunch. 

Lorcan was hanging back in the discussion, toying with their joined hands. Elide was a bit confused, she’d seen him jump into the petty arguments they dissolved to with little encouragement, but she thought nothing of it and leaned back against his front. 

“Why don’t we just go into town? No one has to cook,” offered Connall, ever the peacemaker. The group paused and agreed, turning when neither Lorcan or Elide had voiced their opinions, though the latter had preferred to be an observer of this debate. 

Before she could agree to anything, Lorcan was saying: “Nah, we’re good. I want to show El something, we’ll see you all later, ok?” 

They all shrugged and with a few yelled good-byes, off they went. Sadirah was still working on her newest painting and was not to be disturbed, but she welcomed dropped off food or mugs of tea. Elide got to working on just that, not looking at Lorcan as she asked, “So, whatcha gonna show me?” 

“The reserve,” he told her calmly, but with the way that he was fidgeting and not meeting her eye when she did turn to look at him told a different story. “Unless you want to do something else—” 

“No! No, I’d love to,” Elide said, smiling widely. “I’d love to.” 

He blushed and she took a mental picture of it. “Well… good. We can- we can go when you’re ready?” 

She hummed her agreement and took the now-ready tea for his sister in her hands as well as a plate of toast with peanut butter on it, “Let me drop this off to Dee and I’ll be ready.” She rocked onto her tiptoes and just barely managed to kiss his cheek. A frown graced her brow and when he asked her why, he laughed at her pouty response of: “You’re too tall.” 

He sent her off to the artist’s creaky attic with a conciliatory kiss and a promising smile, promising what, she didn’t exactly know but whatever it was, it made her stomach ripple in anticipation. 

Elide made her way up the creaky steps and smiled as she heard Sadirah’s music pouring from the halfway open door - Rico Nasty. A girl with taste, Sadirah was. 

She tentatively knocked on the doorframe, stepping in after the young artist called for her to come in. “Hey, Dee. Brought you some sustenance.” 

Sadirah popped up from behind the canvas, paint streaked across her cheeks and forehead, a half-crazed smile on her lips. “Hey, Ellie! Oh, thank you, I’m starving.” She stumbled off her stool and kept her palette and brush in hand as she toddled around her messy studio, seemingly knowing where everything was in the chaotically organized mess. 

“So, I see you stan Rico.” 

Lorcan’s youngest sister smiled again and nodded. “Yeah, she puts me in the right headspace to paint!” she said before she gulped down a good portion of tea and took a bite of toast. 

“Do I get to see said masterpiece?” 

“Oh my gosh, sure, if you want. It’s just a little thing,” she said, beckoning Elide over. “It’s actually for you and L, if you want it or anything, you don’t have to though.” 

Elide grinned at Sadirah’s poor visage of nonchalance and set her eyes on the painting. Since it was only just started, it took her a bit to suss out what it was, but when she figured it out, her breath hitched. “Oh,” she breathed, her eyes stinging with tears. “It’s us.” 

It was a painting of the two of them on the speedboat, sitting together on the bench as Lorcan warmed her hands for her as a pretense. There was a small smile on Elide’s part way finished face and she could see her relaxed posture, almost melting into his side. It was such a forgotten moment, Elide thought, a throwaway thing he’d done because he’d seen her - truly. Elide turned to Sadirah, who was waiting anxiously, idly mixing a colour on her palette. 

“It’s beautiful. Really.” Out of the unignorable urge, she hugged Sadirah, careful not to disturb her palette. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Sadirah said, a smile in her voice as she hugged Elide as tightly as she could with one arm. “I’m happy you do, I’m always nervous about showing people the paintings of them.” 

“It’s beautiful,” Elide repeated, letting Sadirah go as she heard Lorcan call out from the bottom of the stairs and begin to walk up. 

“Hey,” came a distinctly male voice. They both turned to face Lorcan, his eyebrows raising at Elide’s red eyes. “Are you crying?” 

“Nope.” 

“You so are. What did you do, Dee?” 

Sadirah exclaimed in outrage, “Hey! _I’m_ the nice one! I would never.” 

Lorcan chuckled, “That’s fair. You ready to go, princess?” 

Elide nodded and waved good-bye to Sadirah, cautiously making her way over to the door. She didn’t understand Sadirah’s system, but it wasn’t her place to fix anything so she did her best to leave everything untouched. 

Lorcan gave her a look as he too said a farewell and they walked downstairs, their hands brushing against each other’s. After a few surreptitious touches, Elide laced her fingers in his and pulled him down behind her quicker. “So, what’s the reserve like?” 

“Oh, pretty normal. Just like any other small town.” He shrugged and they put on their shoes and jackets before walking down to the boat. She didn’t hesitate to step climb in and take her seat, looking excitedly out at the glittering blue expanse of sea. 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her eagerness, such a stark difference from the first time she’d been in the boat. After stepping in and sitting at the wheel, he turned the engine on and it rumbled to life. “Ready?” 

Her wide smile was answer enough and they were off, smoothly coasting to the top speed as he expertly maneuvered the water craft to the next grouping of islands. “The reserve is spread across five different islands, with different bands, but we’re going to the biggest one!” Lorcan shouted over the loud noise. 

Elide gave him a thumbs up and resumed her ocean gazing until they slowed and floated up to the jetty and tied the boat up. 

Already, there were kids swarming around them and when a few of the older ones recognized Lorcan, they began yelling in Ozuye and mobbed him, smiling wildly. Elide grinned at the sight and smiled at a shy little girl that traipsed up to her, looking up at Elide with big brown eyes. 

Elide crouched, “Hi there. My name’s Elide. What’s yours?” 

“[Akicita](https://www.behindthename.com/name/akicita/submitted),” the girl whispered. “Are you Lorcan’s friend?” 

“I am,” Elide confirmed. “He wanted to show me around.” 

Akicita grinned as Elide stood and the group began to walk up to land. Elide looked to Lorcan, who had a kid on his shoulders and another holding his hand. The others trailed around him, chattering nonstop as they walked. 

There was a big, brown building and Lorcan stopped, waiting for Elide. He explained, “Need to state that you’re here ‘cause you aren’t a band member. Then we’ll go see some other stuff.” She nodded and gently took Akicita’s hand when the little girl offered it. 

Lorcan had to put down the child before they walked in and assured them he would be back soon. The office was bustling as they walked in and someone called out, “Ah, the hotshot returns!” 

He laughed, “Fuck off, Dres.” Elide spied the shorn-haired woman with a shit-eating grin on her face. “I need to sign El in.” 

Other people noticed the two of them and began conversing with him in their mother tongue. She didn’t feel excluded or like an outsider, really, more like an observer. It was nice and when he slung his arm over her shoulders, she let him. 

Soon enough, someone was passing her a clipboard with a form on it and she filled it out, thanking the older woman who’d given it to her. 

“A’ight, we’re good to go then,” Lorcan said, saying good-bye to everyone as they walked out. 

“So,” Elide began, lifting her hand to lace her fingers in the hand that dangled from her shoulder, “where to now?” 

He showed her all over the island, his old haunts like the elementary Essar now taught at and high school he attended, his old house, the beach where he’d lost his virginity. She teased him for that. The kids trailed after them everywhere they went, not that Elide or Lorcan were complaining. After a while, the little Akicita had become sleepy and tired so Elide picked her up and let her fall asleep. 

Finally, Lorcan brought her to the elders, who were sitting on the porch of a great big building - the longhouse - and they paid their respects to them. A group of the boys insisted on Lorcan playing basketball with them so Elide had sat down with the still-dozing Akicita and spoken quietly with the elders. 

They were a riot and shared many humiliating stories about her so-called fiancé with her. Elide had nearly cried in laughter, trying to suppress it so as to not wake the little one. She watched Lorcan with a fond eye, recognizing how he played purposefully badly with the kids and went along with them as they cheered their many victories. 

Elide was almost reluctant to leave when the sun began to dip and she softly waved good-bye to the new friend she’d made when Akicita’s mother came to get her. Akicita sleepily waved her fist, causing Elide and her mother - [Ewahee](https://www.behindthename.com/name/ehawee/submitted) \- to exchange sweet smiles. 

It took Lorcan a little while longer to say his farewells but eventually he did and he migrated back to her side, placing a hand on the small of her back as they walked away. Elide paused and turned to him, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair that had escaped his braids behind his ear, “Thank you for showing me this. I want…” 

“Yeah?” he encouraged her, revelling in the feeling of her fingertips lingering on his cheekbone. 

“I want to cook dinner. I can make Blackbeak food?” 

Lorcan thought about teasing her, after having seen the barrenness of her kitchen a few times, could she even cook? But her face was nervous and anxiety swam in her slanted eyes so he nodded, “I’d love that.” 

She smiled and dropped her hand, her eyes travelling over everything in sight as they walked back to the boat. “You really like it here, huh?” 

Elide looked back over her shoulder, a furrow in her brows. “What’s not to like? It’s your home,” she said, shrugging and continuing on like normal, like Lorcan’s entire world hadn’t just shifted completely with three little words. 

“Where’s the…” Elide muttered, searching the shelf in front of them for whatever it was. She refused to tell him about any of the ingredients and went as far as to cover their basket with her jacket, not taking any chances. 

She spotted the spice on the top shelf, way too far for her arm reach. “Oh. There it is,” she said. Lorcan moved to get it for her, able to track her gaze but Elide stopped him, “I got it.” 

Lorcan watched, mildly horrified as she proceeded to scale the shelves and grab the bottle before neatly hopping down and dropping it under the jacket. “Ok! That’s everything.” 

He tried to sneak a look into the basket, too curious and impatient to stop himself. Elide caught him and flicked his nose, “Hey! No peeking, Salvaterre! I meant it.” She glared at him until a look of realization passed over her breathtaking face, “Oh, I forgot- can you go get some lamb?” 

“Mm-hmm, how much do you want?” 

“Let’s see, mmm,” she did a few calculations in her head, no doubt counting how many people would be at dinner. “You, me, the twins, the boys, your mother, Ae and Mia… I guess eleven? Some people will eat less than one and you brutes can have more, right? Yeah, enough for eleven.” 

“Sounds good.” He was about to walk off but paused, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Meet you at the cashier.” 

“Ok,” Elide breathed, scowling when Lorcan smirked at her flushed cheeks. “I hate you.” 

“That’s not what you said last night. And your actions this morning prove otherwise.” 

“Yeah, well, that was a hate blowjob. You can give those out of hate, you know.” 

Lorcan laughed loudly and she smiled despite herself, soaking up his delight. “Whatever you say, I’ll go get your stuff, yeah?” 

“No, baby, that’s not how you do it,” Elide said as she watched Lorcan attempt to wrap a cabbage roll. She decided to make sarma, a relatively simple dish of pork and rice stuffed cabbage rolls that were cooked in a pot over lamb chops and in a spiced tomato sauce. 

Elide was showing the group - Lorcan, Rowan, Fenrys, Connall, Vaughan, Aelin, Nehemia, Aneha, and Sadirah - how to wrap them as she prepared the lamb. 

Lorcan pouted at her and she laughed, kissing his cheek before showing him and the others. While it was nice to be all together, making dinner, they tended to become distracted and now all focused as their wraps were hardly any better. 

Sadirah and Aneha excelled at it and basked in Elide’s praise, taunting their brothers. The whole gang viewed the girls as their baby sisters and one look between Vaughan and Fenrys had the guys scooping them up and tickling them mercilessly. 

Elide laughed easily, unable to name the feeling of home deep in her soul. Something caught her eye and she looked up to see Odette leaning against the archway, gazing fondly at Elide. She beckoned her over and Elide went, swallowing hard. “I’m glad he found you, Elide.” 

Elide felt like bursting into tears but controlled her emotions, accepting the warm hug that Lorcan’s mother offered. “You’re good for him, sweetheart,” Odette whispered. “Don’t forget that, alright? You two deserve each other.” 

“I won’t,” Elide whispered back, her throat tight. How it hurt her very being, lying to them all like this. 

Everyone was sitting around the patio table, chatting animatedly as they ate. Elide was smiling as she conversed with Fenrys, her shoulders loose and grin easy. 

Every time Lorcan looked away to something else, his gaze slid right back to her and she remained oblivious. Or so he thought. She noticed out of the corner of her eye and sipped from her drink, whispering, “Is there a reason you’re staring?” 

He dropped his head, his lips grazing the shell of her ear as he murmured, “I enjoy looking at beautiful things.” 

Lorcan smirked as she blushed and muttered into her drink, “Charmer. It won’t work.” 

“What won’t work?” 

“Your plan to seduce me,” she declared, finally turning her head to look him in the eyes. Her gaze dropped to his lips and Lorcan let a rough chuckled slip past them. 

“Is that right, princess?” 

“Mm-hmm,” she breathed, her voice hitching. “That’s right, baby.” 

“I’m so convinced right now,” he told her, grinning at the nickname that seemed to roll off her tongue so naturally.

Elide huffed and rolled her eyes, leaning into his side. “Shut up.” 

After dinner, everyone had migrated to the kitchen, efficiently cleaning before they moved to the fire pit and listened as Odette told them stories. Elide listened, but her eyes were stuck on Lorcan’s face, watching the almost childlike excitement as his mother recited the stories he learned when he was a wee little lad. 

Slowly, her heart filled with something heavy - a comforting weight and warmth as she had slid into Lorcan’s lap when he’d opened his arms for her and wrapped a blanket around the two of them. 

When it became late, Odette corralled her youngest children to bed, threatening to maim anybody who dared wake them up when they finally went to bed. 

That was when Aelin and Fenrys had broken out their stashes of booze and things had gotten a little wild. 

Elide’s vision was blurry, slipping in and out of focus as she sat down across the table from Lorcan, who was relatively sober. “Alright, Salvaterre,” she slurred slightly, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself. “You ready?” 

“For what, princess?” 

Elide made a happy noise at the nickname and planted her elbow in the middle of the table, “Arm wrestle!” 

Lorcan snorted and placed his elbow on the wooden surface, humouring her as he gripped her hand. Aelin cheered and elected herself as referee. 

“Fighter one, are you ready?” 

“Yessir,” Elide said, a pleased smile on her lips. “You’re going down, baby.” 

“Fighter two, are you ready?” 

“Yup,” Lorcan said, popping the ‘p’. 

“Let’s get it on!” 

Lorcan’s arm didn’t budge and Elide stood up - for leverage. Aelin and Nehemia backed Elide up, egging her on as Lorcan remained in place. Before he could stop her, Elide leaned across the table and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips, using the distraction to pin his hand to the table. With a victory cry, she stood up on the bench, lifting her hands to the skies, “YES! I’M THE CHAMP! YOU FUCKIN’ SUCK!” 

Lorcan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, “That cannot count. Ref?” he asked Aelin, who was standing on the bench next to Elide and whooping. Nehemia cackled and joined them, the golden jewellery adorning her hair glinting in the light of the fire. 

“All’s fair in love and war, Lorcy,” she declared, grabbing Elide’s fist and lifting it like an actual martial art referee to signify her win. They started dancing, jumping around until Elide slipped. Nehemia caught her and they all burst into peals of drunken giggles.

Lorcan stood up and walked around to the other side, helping the three of them down to earth, “Alright, let’s dance on the ground, yeah?” 

Aelin went off, spinning and spinning, her golden tresses catching the light from the fire. Nehemia cackled and skipped over to Fenrys while Elide stayed with Lorcan, opening and closing her hands in a grabby motion. “Up!” 

Chuckling, he easily picked her up, his hands under her thighs. “Better?” 

Elide smiled serenely, her face blissful as she locked her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Very much,” she said, breathing in the sandalwood and cedar scent that clung to him all the time as she buried her face in his neck. “It’s very better.” 

He chuckled again and she made a gentle noise in the back of her throat - she loved it when he laughed. She loved it when he was happy. 

She loved- 

No. She couldn’t. Because she would be leaving him soon enough after tomorrow, because this was a sham. Nothing about this was real. 

She still let herself believe that it was and whispered, so soft her broken admission and in a language he didn’t understand, “ _I love you, Lorcan Salvaterre.”_

“Hmm? Baby, you know I don’t speak Blackbeak,” he said, rocking her back and forth in a soothing motion. 

“Nothing,” she told him, laying her head on his shoulder and closing his eyes. “Just a prayer.” 

He sighed softly, still swaying slowly. Gently, he began to sing, just loud enough so that she could hear it as she succumbed to the thick tendrils of sleep. 

_“It’s too late… to turn back now,”_ he hummed _, “I believe, I believe, I believe I’m falling in love…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah plot twist they actually like each other!!


	9. I'm Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of child abuse, PTSD

She hadn’t had a nightmare in _years_. At least, not one that would wake her up in the middle of the night, drenched in cold sweat, hot tears pouring down her cheeks.

Elide couldn’t stop the sobs that ripped from her raw throat, utterly terrified as she thrashed to get away from the hands that would hurt her. Her ankle felt like someone was holding a branding iron to it, pressing against her flesh with no reprieve.

Blindly, she reached out, searching for the warm body beside hers, _why hadn’t he woken up_ , but all she felt were cool, if slightly rumpled sheets. 

Lorcan had to leave, that badly, in the middle of the night? The whole day before – it had to have meant nothing because he couldn’t stand to sleep in the same bed as her. The thought had her choking, her pathetic cries dying in her throat before she cried anew, unable to stop anything, unable to stop the near screams that spilled from her lips, unable to stop feeling like she was drowning, unable to stop the crack of her heart. 

Oh gods, she couldn’t _breathe_. 

Nausea grew in her and before she could even think about making it to the bathroom or even the balcony, she sat up and threw up, bile stinging her ravaged throat. She gagged and emptied her stomach again, her eyes watering as she heaved on nothing. 

It wasn’t a second longer that the bathroom door slammed open and Lorcan was there, staring for a moment at the scene before he ran to her side and effortlessly picked her up, cradling her against his chest. “Princess, oh my gods, baby girl, fucking hell,” he whispered, his heart thundering.

Elide screamed again, fighting against him. “El, Elide, it’s just me. It’s me.” He had thought she was being _murdered_. He’d been gone for a minute, just a minute, had left her sleeping peacefully on the bed they shared to use the bathroom.

“Lorcan? Where did you go?” she cried, letting him wrap her legs around his waist for easier maneuvering. 

“I was just in the toilet,” he assured her, cradling the back of her head. “You’re alright, it was a dream, just a dream.” 

“I-I th-threw up,” she cried, fighting for a breath of air, snot running from her nose, her eyes filled with unspilled tears. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize,” he shushed her. “Come on, baby, you gotta breathe, in and out.” He pulled air into his lungs through his nose and exhaled through his mouth, watching her imitate him. Lorcan could see in her eyes that she was panicking, desperate for oxygen and the fact that she was apologizing—

Fuck, he didn’t care about the vomit on the bed, didn’t care about anything except her. Elide sniffled once and cried again, shaking in his arms. With barely an effort, Lorcan walked back into the bathroom and filled the bathtub, putting her down on the cool tile.

Elide watched him as he glared at the collection of bath oils and essences and salts as if it had personally and egregiously offended him. “I like cedar,” she whispered, drawing her knees up beneath her chin. “And sandalwood.”

Lorcan was too concentrated to register that those were the scents of his cologne, the one he wore everyday. He nodded, perfunctorily, and dumped them in, then turning to her and taking her hands in his, letting her ground herself to him as he checked over her.

Small and frail, that’s what she looked like. Slowly, Lorcan got a face cloth and held it under the bath tap, wringing it out before carefully tipping her chin back and cleaning her face. Her eyes fluttered shut, her lashes brushing against her red cheeks, tears still slipping from her eyes.

When her face was cleaned, Lorcan got her cup of water, grinning teasingly as she smiled softly and took it with two hands, “Think you can handle some water, Lochan?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded, still sipping carefully though. “Can you get my toothbrush, it’s just… icky.”

Lorcan nodded, half-crouching as he kissed her forehead before getting her toothbrush for her.

He turned off the bath as she brushed her teeth, deeming it to be acceptable. “Bath’s ready, princess.” Elide nodded and stood, holding up her arms as indication for him to undress her.

He did and it was… a lot more natural than he thought it’d be. It was intimate, yes, but not in a sexual way, nothing heated in his movements as he pulled her top off and kneeled in front of her, tugging down her sweats.

Elide delicately stepped out, completely bare under the soft light of the bathroom. Without any hesitation, Lorcan scooped her up and set her down in the water. Before her hair could fall from the barely held-together bun it was in, Lorcan efficiently drew it back for her and clipped it up with the hairclip she’d left on the counter.

His heart was still beating way too fast and he crouched by the side of the bath, running his fingers over her arm. “E.”

She turned her face towards him but kept her eyes half-closed. “Hmm?”

“I’m going to change the sheets, but I’m not leaving, ok? I’m not leaving you.” He needed her to understand that he wouldn’t abandon her, not now, not ever. 

That had her opening her eyes fully and looking at him, truly seeing him. “Ok.” It was such a tiny word, so small, but Lorcan knew what she meant. They seemed to just… understand each other. Even before the deportation hanging over their heads, they had a way of silently communicating with each other.

Satisfied, Lorcan stood and even then, left the door open as he stripped the bed and made quick work of putting on new sheets. He checked on her before going to the laundry room.

When he got back, Elide wasn’t asleep, she was too scared for that, but she was barely awake. Her cheeks were rosy pink, her body relaxed as she soaked. Silently, she stood up, grabbed a towel, and dried herself as he got her clothes to change into.

Hers were right there, he could’ve easily gotten them but instead, he grabbed his hoodie and his sweats, walking back in to find her standing on the bathmat. Her skin gleamed in the light and she gave him a small smile as he held up the clothes for her before dressing. 

She had to roll down the waistband and roll up the ankles, but she left the hoodie alone, simply flipping the hood over her head. “Can we go outside? I need to…” she trailed off, fear as though he would deny her that simple necessity heavy in her eyes.

Without a second thought, Lorcan was agreeing and picking her up, not even letting her take one step on her own. Elide had no qualms about it and exhaled softly, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her arms wrapped around his neck and she locked her legs around his waist. _I love you_ , she thought, still thinking about how she had said it, but in the coward’s way – in a language he didn’t speak. _I love you so much._

He carried her down to the beach, after grabbing the heavy blankets, and set her down just as the grass turned into cool sand. “It’s perfect,” she whispered, hooking her pinky around his.

Lorcan grinned down at her, the tightness in his chest easing just a bit. He had thought that her falling into the arctic ocean had been the scariest thing he’d lived through, but seeing her so scared, completely detached as she sobbed and screamed, thrashing away from whatever visions she was having, straining away from _him,_ made fear sink into his skin far worse than anything before.

She began to walk along the sand and he just stayed there, keeping an eye on her as she bent to collect something or dipped her toe in the cold water. Eventually, long after he’d sat down and wrapped a blanket around himself, Elide wandered back to him, a collection of finds cradled in her hands. She looked so proud of herself as she kneeled in front of him and spread them out on the other thick blanket, silently combing through them. “I just want one.”

He didn’t question why she only wanted one, didn’t question why they were all shades of black, didn’t question as she held up a piece of sea glass to his eyes and nodded once to herself, tossing everything else away. He didn’t ask her anything – he was just there. As steady and always as the waves that crashed gently against the shore.

Then, when Elide was curled up between his legs, her back against his chest, she finally spoke, burying her toes in the sand. “I haven’t… had a nightmare like that in a long time. I think it just built up.” Her breath caught and she pressed herself closer into his solid warmth, tugging his arms tighter around herself. “My uncle… he used to lock me in this root cellar. One of those ones that was built into the floor and I could barely fit into it. It was really dark and I couldn’t see anything and it was so cold. Even in the summer it was cold.”

She took a shuddering breath and it hit Lorcan so hard in the chest he floundered for air. Elide was not the tough, unfeeling, and heartless lawyer that he saw all the time. She was his age, she was young, and she was broken too. But, she seemed to trust him with her ravaged heart. Something had changed, something had changed for her to hold it out for him to safekeep. 

He wouldn’t betray that. He loved her, with every shattered piece of his twisted heart, he loved her. 

Knowing she didn’t want his words right now, and certainly not _those_ ones, Lorcan wrapped her up further in his arms, hoping his eternal warmth would seep into her. “I just saw the darkness,” she whispered, keeping her eyes on the bright moon.

He wanted to thank her for sharing, for offering him that bloodied and broken piece of her, but Elide was drifting off. In her sleep, she reached for his hand and pulled it into her chest, pressing it against her heart.

Eventually, Lorcan picked her up as he stood and walked them back to their room, nodding once to his mother when he saw her in the kitchen, drinking a mug of tea. Odette just smiled knowingly and stood up, kissing his cheek and Elide’s as well. “Take care of this girl, my son. She is not as strong as she seems.”

“I will, mama.” _I always will._

The bed was empty when he woke up and he frowned, searching across the mattress for Elide. Lorcan groaned into the pillow his arms were wrapped around and sat up, squinting his eyes at the sun that streamed through the windows. 

Sighing to himself, he dressed, putting on his glasses, and sought her out, finding her down at the beach, a book in hand. He watched her in silence for a moment or two before walking up behind her and sitting down, pulling her back into his chest. “Hi, princess.”

Elide hummed, pressing into him, “Hi.”

“How are you,” he murmured, tucking his chin in the crook of her neck. It wasn’t an innocent query.

“I’m good. Promise,” she answered, putting her book down and turning in his arms, straddling his lap. “Thank you for taking care of me.” He had done it without question, without hesitation. He’d seen her at her worst, so deeply entrenched in her past that she could barely recognize him. 

“Always.” He tilted his head back to look up at her, sliding his hands down to her ass. 

“How are you?”

Lorcan smirked, “Never been better.”

Elide rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Slim fingers slid into his thick locks and he buried his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of her elderberry and cinnamon perfume and his cedar cologne mixing together on the hoodie of his that she wore. “I could stay like this forever,” Elide whispered softly, her lips on the crown of his head. She felt safe and secure - here in his arms, like nothing could touch her. 

“Then why don’t you,” he said, leaning back and arching a brow.

She looked at him, really looked at him, something unreadable in her eyes. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

“There’s nothing I want more than that. Stay.”

His heart beat hard, frantic until she grinned and nodded, kissing his lips, “I’d like that.”

He opened his mouth to deepen the embrace when someone called their names. They both looked up to find Maeve beckoning them to her. Lorcan turned back to Elide, a deep frown gracing his face. “I hate her.”

“I know you do, baby,” she replied, pushing his glasses up after they slipped down his nose. “Let’s go see what she wants, ok?” He grumbled but did as she asked, tangling his fingers in hers as Elide picked up her book and they leisurely strolled back up the sandy beach after Elide had brushed off the sand on the pair of sweats she had stolen from him. 

Lorcan found he didn’t mind that she took his clothes. 

“You two need to come with me.” That was all Maeve said before she was striding away and Lorcan clenched his jaw, following her at a much slower pace. She led them into the living room of the guest house she occupied, where there sat a man whose presence they dreaded.

Benson.

“Well if it isn’t the happy couple!”

Lorcan whipped his head to Maeve, “What did you do?” She didn’t say a thing. “ _What did you do?_ ”

She regarded him with a cool gaze. “Benson called me yesterday. Said you were lying so Elide wouldn’t get deported. Told me you would get caught and go to prison.” Lorcan narrowed his eyes and she continued, “Your mother knows nothing - let’s keep it that way. All you have to do is tell the truth.”

The agent stood and addressed Lorcan, both he and Maeve ignoring Elide as she slunk back, folding in on herself. Lorcan didn’t notice as she let go of his hand. “Your auntie here flew me up and we worked out a deal. All you need to do is tell the truth and this thing will all go away. No charges, no trouble.”

“And Elide?”

Benson made a face, “Mmm, she won’t be as lucky. No, she’s going back to Terrasen and won’t be let back into the country. Ever.”

“Why would I say yes to that?” he spat, livid as he stared down his great-aunt.

“You’re making a mistake-“

“That’s none of your fucking business even if I am!”

“L, it’s fine,” Elide whispered, trying to calm him but he wouldn’t have it.

“The hell it is. No, it is not fine!”

“Blah-blah-blah,” Benson said, “just tell me the truth and we’ll on be on our way. You know she doesn’t love you. This is all a business deal to her - you must realize that. She doesn’t care about you.”

Elide took Lorcan’s hand, her eyes open and unguarded - for him, only him, “Just tell them. It’s fine, _I’m_ fine.”

Lorcan looked at her for a long moment before he sighed through his nose and turned back to Maeve and Benson. “You want to know the truth? Listen up. Two years ago, I started working for Elide. We started dating six months ago, fell in love, and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Happy?” He didn’t bother waiting for their responses before he was pulling Elide out of the house, storming away.

They were halfway down the stairs when Lorcan stopped and turned back, black eyes flashing as he snarled, “If either of you two show up tomorrow, I’ll throw you out myself.”

Elide slipped out of their room when Lorcan was in the shower, padding out onto the patio, where she found Aelin. The woman smiled brightly, “There’s the blushing bride. How are you, darling?”

Elide didn’t return Aelin’s enthusiasm and her smile faded as she stood up and guided Elide to the couch. “What’s wrong?”

She took one look at the woman who’d become her close friend over the past four days and burst into tears. She only cried harder when Aelin hugged her close and whispered quiet nothings, making soothing sounds to calm her. “Let it out, girlie. Talk to me.”

Elide spilled everything, the entire unbelievable tale tumbling from her lips. Aelin didn’t say a word during the story until Elide let out a huge breath at the end. “Wow. It’s like a movie!”

“That’s so not what I want to hear right now.” Elide hiccupped, tears sliding down her cheeks again. “What do I do? He’s still going through with it, but I can’t let him ruin it all just for me.”

“Honey,” Aelin said, brushing back Elide’s hair from her brow, “I’ve known Lorcan for a long time, he’s like my brother and I love him to death. I’ve never seen him this happy, even when you two were pretending, which I don’t believe. Seriously, the chemistry is off the charts-“

“Relationships aren’t just chemistry.”

Elide received a sharp flick to the tip of her nose and exclaimed in shock, rubbing the inflicted area. “I know that, _listen_ to what I’m saying. Whenever someone tells a joke, he looks around to see if you’re laughing too. He gives you random hugs just because. He kept you cooped up in that room after you fell in the water and _fussed_. That ridiculous boy doesn’t do that stuff to people he doesn’t care about. Trust me.”

“But-“

“Elide, listen to me. Lorcan is my best friend - we’re family, ok? When we first met, we hated each other. Couldn’t stand to be around one another without getting into screaming matches. One night, he found me hiding out in a corner, avoiding my ex at a party. Lor sat with me the entire night and shit-talked with me all night. The next day, I saw him telling my ex he’d kill him if he ever came near me again,” Aelin said, her eyes bright and warm. “I know what it’s like to see him care for someone. That boy is falling in love with you.”

When she got back to their room, Lorcan was in the bathroom, his attention focused on his hair. Elide walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her lips against his tattoo. She didn’t know what the symbols on his skin meant, but she knew he held them dearly to his heart – a way for him to bring a piece of his home everywhere with him. 

“Benson’s left.”

“Hm.” 

Lorcan turned and tilted her chin up, wiping away the stray tears that leaked down her cheeks. “Princess, please don’t cry. They’re not going to take you away from me - it’s gonna be fine.”

Elide turned her face to kiss his palm, closing her eyes. “I’m just tired, Lorcan. Come to bed?”

He was unconvinced but relented, not letting her get one step away before he tossed her over his shoulder and carried her to bed.

He fell asleep first, his body a comforting weight keeping her pressed into the mattress. Despite what he had said and what Aelin had told her, she knew that there was only one option possible. She had taken so much away from him already and though just the thought of it made her heart ache, Elide knew she would be leaving the Northern Isles alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heehee oops


	10. Turn Back Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't be mad, ok? just don't get mad

The enamel mug burned her hands but Elide didn’t notice it as she blew on the surface and carefully sipped her tea.

Two hands planted on the island on either side of her and she was caged in, a warm body pressed against her back. “Wow, drinking tea? How the mighty have fallen,” murmured a familiar voice, soft lips finding the sensitive skin beneath her jaw.

Elide breathed in shakily, her teeth catching on her bottom lip as Lorcan continued down the column of her throat, nipping at her skin until he noticed the blank pages and pen in front of her. “What’s that for?”

She put her mug down and spun on her stool, folding her legs up underneath her. “It’s nothing.” The smile she offered him soothed him of his worries and Lorcan returned it, gripping her chin between his thumb and forefinger as he kissed her.

Elide returned it, sitting up straighter as she looped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. His laugh was raspy against her lips and she kissed him harder, greedy to feel the sound on her lips so that she could carry it with her forevermore.

Her throat ached with tears and she forced herself to pull away, flicking her eyes over his shoulder to the back window, where she saw Fenrys and Vaughan imitating them. “It seems as though we have an audience,” she whispered, her voice hitching.

If Lorcan noticed the change in her voice, he didn’t say anything as he turned around and rolled his eyes. He sighed as he turned back to her, “I guess I gotta go and get ready.” For their wedding.

Elide smiled a fake smile and she knew Lorcan could tell something was wrong but she didn’t let him say a word before her lips were pressing against his. She told him her silent goodbye through her kiss, asking the gods to take care of him after she was gone. “Go.”

“Are you alright?”

She swallowed thickly, nodding, “I’m fine. I’m good. I’ll see you up there.”

“Promise?”

The lie felt slick and oily on her tongue.

“Promise.”

Nehemia’s hands were gentle in her hair as she pulled Elide’s hair back into a simple chignon that rested at the nape of her neck. Her dark brown eyes didn’t miss anything as Elide fidgeted, twisting her mother’s ring around her finger over and over until the skin beneath it was red.

Aneha and Sadirah were flitting around the room, meaningless chatter flowing from their mouths. In the mirror, Elide made eye contact with Odette and quickly looked away, a slight frown on her brows. 

The entire Salvaterre family were too perceptive for their own good. Odette’s eyes missed nothing but she stayed silent, smiling reassuringly at Elide. Nehemia patted Elide’s hair, “All done.” 

Elide smiled, a real smile, and stood up, turning her head to see the style in the mirror. “It’s gorgeous, Nehemia. Thank you.” 

“Of course,” she said, hugging Elide tightly, “I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. You’re good for him.” 

Her smile faltered for a split second and she discreetly patted her eyes dry, careful not to mess up Aelin’s hard work. “You’re going to make me sob like a wee babe.” 

Aelin breezed by, “Now, now, none of that, young lady! Go get dressed, we have a wedding to start!” 

Elide chuckled and slipped out of the room, walking down the hallway. She passed by a room, its door cracked open. Low voices rumbled out of it and she peeked inside, seeing Lorcan and his groomsmen getting ready. 

Her eyes slid to Lorcan, his head tipped back as he laughed, the sound full and warm. He spoke in a melodic tongue with Vaughan as Rowan sulked and muttered that they shouldn’t be allowed to have a secret language. That only made them laugh louder. 

His eyes were bright as he smiled, standing still as Connall - the only organized one of the lot - gently tugged on the cuffs of his white shirt, making them so that they stuck out a bit from his navy suit. The colour contrast of the dark blue against his burnished-copper skin was beautiful, making his complexion glow even brighter than usual. 

Squaring her shoulders, Elide breathed out and walked away, only more sure of her decision after seeing him. She had tucked the letters, all but one, behind a painting and as she paused by it, she glanced around to ensure that no one was there as she lifted the frame and grabbed them. 

There was one for Aelin, one for Nehemia, and one for Odette. The twins both got one and Elide had written another for the boys. They had finally warmed up to her and treated her as one of them. 

As for Lorcan’s… Elide knew she was stalling. She hadn’t written it yet and was dreading it. 

The room seemed frozen as she walked in, able to see them in every feature of it. The duvet still rumpled from that morning because neither cared enough to make it, throw pillows strewn about the room from when they had thrown them at each other, her laughter and screams when he caught her and tickled her mercilessly still heavy in the air. 

Those memories hung around her as she sat down and put pen to paper, not finding it in herself to stop the tears that dripped onto the paper and smudged the ink. 

Crying silently, she folded it and put it in an envelope addressed to him. Elide kissed the paper once, hoping he would be able to feel it. 

As she changed, switching a silk dressing gown for leggings and a snug-fitting tank top, she hesitated, Lorcan’s hoodie catching her eye. Because she couldn’t help herself, Elide grabbed it and pulled it over her head. 

All she thought about as she packed her bags were the words she wanted to so desperately to say to him, but the ones she never would. 

Everything was ready.

The dress was draped across the foot of the bed, the blue jade necklace back in its velvet box. Elide had her enveloped letters in hand, one for each person she had lied to.

The others, she put down easily, placing them tenderly, but Lorcan’s… she fingered the paper, a trembling finger tracing over the ink that read his name. He would never forgive her for this and Elide wasn’t sure she would ever forgive herself.

With a shaking breath, she kissed the letter once more and put it down, gently patting dry the teardrop that had landed on the envelope.

Squaring her shoulders, Elide grabbed her bags and took one last look around the room before she slipped off into the sunny afternoon.

She half-thought it would be more difficult to sneak down to the water taxi she’d called, but nobody even noticed.

The man was friendly enough, his attempts at small-talk valiant as he loaded her bags into the vessel. Elide’s responses were clipped and short, not inviting any further discussion until he dropped it.

She didn’t dare look back at the property as the boat carried her further and further away, knowing that if she gave in to the screaming in her head, a voice that begged her to turn around for one last look, she would never be able to go through with it.

“El?” Lorcan knocked on the door to their room, not knowing why he felt the need to seek her out and make sure she was ok but still not being able to shake the feeling. Their interaction that morning had had him feeling unsettled as he got ready and the first chance he got to sneak out of the room, he took.

After checking in with Aelin, who had told him Elide had gone to their room to get ready by herself, Lorcan had speed-walked across the house.

There was no answer from inside the room and he opened the door slowly, taking one step in before his heart cracked.

The wedding dress draped across the bed, the velvet jewellery box, and the stack of letters, it couldn’t be.

“Elide?” he asked again, searching through the entire room, hoping that maybe, what he knew had happened was a lie.

But she wasn’t there and all he had left was the stack of letters, all addressed to various people in her perfect penmanship. Lorcan flipped through them, his breath hitching at the one addressed to him.

In a daze, he sat on the floor, his back against the bed and ripped open the envelope, his hands shaking as he pulled out the paper, tearstained and ink smudged.

His eyes raced over the neat lines of script, reading too fast and making the words a jumbled mess of letters he wasn’t sure were in the common tongue. With a steadying breath,his eyes burning with the threat of tears, he read it again – slowly.

_Lorcan,_

_I have to go. I’m sorry, but I’m a coward and I’m selfish and I can’t break your family’s heart like that. You deserve a real love, one with someone who is good like you because you deserve happiness and you won’t get that with me. This was a business deal and it’s over._

_Be happy._

_Elide_

Lorcan wasn’t sure how long he’d stayed there, not sure if his heart were even beating, on the floor. Memories of them surrounded him and he somehow got up to walk out to the balcony, eyes on the ocean.

The blue waves were empty except for one boat and he watched as his heart was carried away in the clutches of that infuriating woman.

Elide had been gone for a while and Aelin set out to find her, intercepting Rowan in the hallway. She smiled and strolled up to him, “Well, hello there, stranger.”

His face was tight and he didn’t even bother to fake amusement at her antics like he normally did when distressed. Aelin paused him with a hand on his bicep, “What is it?”

“We can’t find Lorcan.”

Laughing, she grabbed his hand, “He’s with Elide!”

“And you know that how?”

Aelin rolled her eyes and pulled him down to the soon-to-be-wed couple’s room. “It’s obvious. Where else would they be?”

Rowan just shook his head and followed his girlfriend across the house until they reached the room. With a wink thrown over her shoulder, Aelin said, “Let’s go see what the happy couple is up to!”

“I think I’ll just wait out here,” he said, grimacing as he leaned against the wall.

She cackled and knocked once before slipping inside, closing the door behind her. “Hello-“ Aelin cut herself off when she saw the wedding dress and letters. “Wha… Lorcan?” He didn’t acknowledge her from where he sat on the balcony, his head hung low.

Quickly, Aelin hurried out to his side and dropped onto the seat beside him. “What happened?”

“She’s gone,” he whispered, his voice broken. “There’s a letter inside for you, but I’m guessing she already told you.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, resting her cheek on his shoulder. “She told me.”

“She fucking ruined my life and left me with a fucking letter? Tells me to _be happy?_ ” he said, his voice raised. “I hate her. For two fucking years, I worked my ass off for her and then she does _this_ shit and doesn’t have the decency to say it to my face. I _hate_ her.”

“No, you don’t.”

He stood up abruptly and began pacing back and forth, crumpling Elide’s letter in his hand. “But none of that matters, you wanna know why?”

“Lor-“

“We had a deal, Aelin! We had a gods-damned deal. She _promised_ to me that I would see her up on that fucking altar.” He seemed to sort of collapse on the couch next to her, leaning on his best friend, his voice ragged, “She promised, G.”

“I know she did, hon.” Aelin paused, rubbing his back gently, “Are you just going to let her go?”

“You did _what_?”

Lorcan was trying to placate his sisters, who were angrier than he’d ever seen either of them. Even Sadirah, his sweet and gentle baby sister, was shooting daggers at him, her hands fisted at her sides as the light in her eyes promised him a slow slow death. “I-“

“You are the _stupidest_ person I know! Why would you do this? On our _birthday_? Our BIRTHDAY!”

He didn’t have any words and spread his hands, “I’m sorry?”

Aneha scowled at him, her eyes flashing and she opened her mouth to say something when Odette cut in, holding up a hand. The siblings all fell silent as she walked up to her eldest, cupping his face gently. She spoke in their language to him, _“You are a very stupid man.”_ She paused and kissed his brow, whispering a prayer before, _“Go get her.”_

Lorcan grinned and kissed her cheek, hugging his sisters before running out and freezing as he was accosted by Vaughan, Fenrys, Connall, and Rowan. “Boys-“

Vaughan held up his hand, those eyes Lorcan saw every time he looked in the mirror rippling with cold ire and fury. Lorcan swallowed hard, knowing he’d broken their most basic rule – no lying. But then, his cousin – his brother, really – smiled and they all did. “Go get her, man. Good luck.”

He grinned and hugged them all, rolling his eyes as they yelled at him for wasting time before he sprinted down to the jetty, jumping in the speedboat and gunning the engine.

Elide had been sitting in the little airport lounge for half an hour and with every ticking second, she grew closer to fleeing back to Lorcan, her heart aching. _“All passengers boarding flight 587 to Mistward, please proceed to the boarding gate.”_

She sighed shakily and stood up, gathering her things and making her way to the line. Every step closer to the gate had her heart fracturing and she was holding back tears when the boarding agent asked for her boarding pass.

Elide nodded and rifled through her purse. She found it and held it up, attempting to smile when someone called her name. “Elide!” 

Looking over her shoulder, her eyes filled with tears as she saw Lorcan run through the doors, wearing his suit and his glasses.

She loved his glasses. 

There was something sure in his face and she shook her head as he weaved through the crowd to her. “Don’t go.”

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

Lorcan took one step closer and she pressed her hand into his chest, stopping him. “Don’t go,” he repeated, his heart slamming a thunderous tattoo beneath her hand. “Can I just talk to you for a second? Please?” 

Elide gave in immediately and let him pull her to the side. Lorcan just said one word: “Stay.” 

“I can’t,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

“Yes, you can, you _can_.” He held her hand to his chest, his eyes soft and open. “Elide.”

Elide just shook her head again, “I have to get on the plane. Lorcan, I have to go.”

“I love you,” he said. Simple, just three little words.

She cried, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I have to go home. It’s time.”

“Princess,” Lorcan said, leaning down and leaning his forehead against hers. “I love you. Let me be with you.”

“You don’t want to be with me,” she whispered, tilting her chin up and kissing his cheek. “Not forever.”

“Yes, I do. Stay,” he said, desperation bleeding through his words. “Stay with me, Elide Lochan.”

“No, I can’t marry you, Lorcan.”

“Then don’t marry me. Just stay. We’ll figure it out together, princess. Say you’ll stay with me.” 

“No.”

“Well… _yes_.”

“No!”

“Say yes.”

“ _No_ , Lorcan,” Elide’s voice broke and more tears slipped down her face. “It’s not like that.”

“I thought it changed. You told me you wanted to stay-“ Lorcan cut himself off, his eyes welling. “I thought you loved me too.”

Elide furrowed her brow, closing her eyes and saying those damning words, “It was just a business deal. Everything Benson said was true.”

Lorcan held her hand tighter, silently begging her to open her eyes, “Tell me you don’t love me then. If you say that, I’ll let you go.”

Finally, she opened her eyes and stepped away from him, handing the agent her pass, “I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.” Without another word or glance his way, Elide Lochan strode through the gate and walked out of his life. Forever.


	11. I'm In Love Alone

The sun was still brightly shining outside and Lorcan half-wondered how it could when he was broken and hurting, his world crumbling around him. 

He drove the boat back on autopilot, hardly paying attention as he travelled across the blue waves, the ocean spray making his hair damp and his suit too, but he didn’t care. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a rumpled blanket sitting on the bench.

The sight of it was enough to make his heart break in half – again – as he shut off the boat and dropped onto the cushion beside it, picking it up and holding it to his chest. He had meant what he said. He would always find her. Always. 

But that wasn’t she wanted and no matter how badly it hurt him, he would respect her wishes. She deserved to be free, whether that was with him or not. She deserved _happiness_ , even if he wasn't the one to give it to her. 

Throat tight, he sat there, unable to stop feeling like he was drowning. It hurt to breathe, the memory of them a sharp knife in his side that grated against his ribs with every panicked breath.

Slowly, he folded the heavy blanket and stuffed it into the cabinet, latching the door shut. Lorcan loosened his tie and dumped his suit jacket on the bench before he moved back to the driver’s seat and started the boat again, numb as he drove home.

He docked the boat an undetermined amount of time later.Guests were milling and buzzing about, gossiping as he parked the boat and stalked up the jetty, ignoring everyone and everything.

He saw Aelin first and when he shook his head, her face fell and she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” he whispered, his words strangled. “I’m gonna go… do something.”

Aelin stepped back and nodded, “Ok. I’ll be here if you need me.”

With a slight nod, Lorcan was off, not meeting anyone’s curious stares as he strode through the house and slammed the bedroom door behind him. It had been forty-five minutes since Elide left and he had never missed anyone the way he missed her.

Someone had moved the dress and the letters off the bed and he practically tore his clothes from his body, throwing himself down on the mattress and wrapping his arms around a pillow. It smelled like her honey-suckle shampoo and Lorcan gritted his teeth as he flung it to the other side of the room.

Deciding he couldn’t stand to be surrounded by her presence, even after she’d gone, Lorcan busied himself by cleaning the room, methodically cleaning the space. Even if he could never forget her, he could rid his home of her.

As he worked, he tried not to think about how his heart was going across the world and he’d never see it again.

Elide sat down in her seat and clipped her seatbelt on, ready to leave. She’d been the first on, meaning everyone had seen how she’d left Lorcan like that. 

Her seatmate sat down and glanced at her quizzically, wondering why she hadn’t stayed.

If she were being honest, she didn’t know either. Well, she  _ did _ know. Lorcan wouldn’t have been happy with her forever and she didn’t deserve him. He was good and kind and he cared about others. Elide did not and hadn’t for a while.

It was almost humorous, she supposed. Two people, who had been hurt from a very young age, their lives nearly identical, but while one had used that as fuel to be selflessly loving to the people that mattered the most to him, the other held on to the feeling of cold detachment, never trusting anyone ever again.

Elide tried to be happy. She had missed Terrasen all these years. There had been too many times to count when she had wanted to pack up her life and ship it back over to her home, but without the financial stability she had now, Vernon would have sought her out and reeled her back in with his vicious words. And honestly, she hadn’t wanted to go back. Every time she thought about doing so, a voice at her shoulder would tell her to stay and so she did. 

In need of distraction, she searched into her pocket, looking for what, she didn’t know. She felt something smooth and cool, pulling it out to find the piece of sea glass she’d found that night. It was black, and she’d chosen it because it looked like Lorcan’s eyes. She pulled out her phone next, fumbling as the screen lit up to a picture of her and Lorcan, walking together on the sidewalk. She was holding onto his elbow and hand, wearing his fleece and looking up at him with an adoring look. He was returning the gaze fondly, his posture relaxed for once. 

“You two look beautiful together,” the older woman sitting next to her said. “It’s probably none of my business, but I hope that you two know that, if you love each other, things should come easy. Before you tell me to mind my own self, just ask yourself: how does it feel to be away from him?” 

_ Like she was being torn apart.  _

Without really thinking, Elide unlocked her phone and tapped out his number, knowing he wouldn’t pick up and still hoping he would. She got his voice mail and just hearing him talk had her wanting to cry again.

Her heart was in her throat as she waited for the beep and it took a few tries for her to speak. “Hi. It’s me. I just- I’m on the plane and I want to cry. I miss you. I don’t know why I’m here, I shouldn’t be here.” Elide swallowed back her tears, looking up as if it would stop them from forming in her eyes. “I thought I was going home but I’m not ‘cause you’re my home. Wherever you are, that’s where I should be. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t-“ she breathed in sharply, feeling like someone had punched her in the chest, knocking the air from her lungs. “I need to get off this plane.”

Quickly, she shot up, hastily grabbing her bag as the flight attendant pulled the door shut. Elide sped around passengers that were still putting their carry-ons, apologies spilling from her lips. “Miss-“

“I need to get off the plane.”

The flight attendant sighed, “Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to take your seat. The plane will be leaving soon.”

“No, you- you don’t understand! I need to get off this plane, I can’t leave—”

“Ma’am. I’m sorry, but I cannot let you off this plane. Now, if you would just—”

“Please. Please, I am begging you, just let me off the plane. I have to get off this plane.” Elide felt her eyes sting with tears and the woman pursed her lips, glancing between the cockpit, the door, and Elide. She tried again, her voice cracking. “Please.”

“Let her off the plane!” Elide turned at the voice, seeing her seatmate standing up, her fist waving in the air. “Come on, just let her off the plane! Have a heart, miss." 

Slowly, the other passengers took up her cry, pleading with the flight attendant. Elide bit her lip to stop from outright crying then and there. “Please. I love him.” 

No one had seen Lorcan since he’d returned and the boys had had enough.

They’d found out that the door was locked and he wouldn’t open it – that they knew, so they did what any reasonable people would do. 

They scaled the side of the house up to the balcony.

Crashing through the French doors, they found Lorcan in the shower. “Ayy, Lorcan!” 

He looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you fucking mind? Get the fuck out!”

Rowan and Connall nodded and turned, but Fenrys and Vaughan were unperturbed. “We don’t want you to be lonely! Are you sure you’re—”

“If you do not get the fuck out right now, I will kill you. I will literally murder you dead and chop up your bodies with the ax and feed you to the fucking orcas! Get out!”

Both wearing shit-eating grins, they left. He had a lump in his throat and no matter how many times he coughed or swallowed, it didn’t go away.

A few minutes later, Lorcan stalked out of the bathroom, his hair piled up in a messy bun to keep from getting wet. One of the boys, probably Connall, had put new sheets on the bed and they were all piled in it, looking up at him with excited expressions. “Dude. They have  _ Space Jam _ .”

Lorcan rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh at the sight of all four of them in a bed that was far too small for hulking men. He got dressed, wearing a pair of sweats and a hoodie, the hood flipped over his head, and shoved Vaughan to the side so he could be in the middle, between his cousin and Rowan.

Rowan opened his arms and Lorcan let his best friend hug him close, Rowan’s chin resting on top of Lorcan’s head. Lorcan leaned the side of his head above Rowan’s heart, slinging an arm across his waist. Someone pulled him up into a seated position - Vaughan, who gently took his hair down and began to braid it as Fenrys used the remote control to choose  _ Space Jam _ .

As the opening credits began, his eyes welled up and he did nothing to stop the tears from spilling down his cheeks. “I love her.”

Rowan sat up and let Lorcan lean on him. He kissed the top of Lorcan’s head, rubbing his back, “I know, L.”

“It wasn’t… just what happened. We were more than that,” he whispered, closing his eyes and still the tears slipped past his thick lashes. He had to believe that they were more than that.

The girls had been sent away, out of the house, their protests gone unheard over their mother’s commands.

Odette roped in Nehemia and Aelin to help her in making food, not that either of them needed much convincing. In times like these, it was hard for the two women to sit still, the very being in their bones urging them to help in whichever capacity.

Nehemia and Odette spent the late morning making food, while Aelin was in charge of whatever boozy drinks she could make, having been banned from the kitchen ages ago. She sipped from a glass, the drink burning the back of her throat and calling tears to her eyes, “Whoo, that’s got some kickback, dang! It’ll do.”

Wiping her hands on a kitchen towel, Nehemia wandered over, a scrutinizing look on her ethereal face. “Are you sure?” Aelin just rolled her eyes and took Nehemia’s towel, giving her her own glass. She looked at it warily and sipped, coughing and nodding, her voice strained, “Yeah, this’ll do, gods-damn, Aelin.”

Odette laughed from where she was stirring a large pot of  _ wohanpi _ , a bison stew Lorcan had always claimed had healing powers. All anyone knew about it was he made it once a year in a huge batch and froze containers of it. A lucky few would receive a portion when ill or fighting a raging hangover. Aelin, being his best friend, always had a guaranteed portion as well as Nehemia. The boys could fend for themselves. “Which of you is up to go wrangle the boys?” They had all watched as Rowan, Vaughan, Fenrys, and Connall scaled up to the balcony.

Aelin rose her hand, holding up a finger as she drained her glass, “I’ll do it.”

They nodded and waved her down the hall and off she went.

Having the decency to knock before entering, Aelin waited until someone called ‘come in’ to walk in, smiling widely at the sight she saw.

All of them, piled onto the bed and cuddling while watching what they considered to be the peak of cinematic history. It was cute and she thought about teasing them, just a tad, until she saw the tear tracks on Lorcan’s face and the redness of his eyes behind those round glasses of his. “I got booze and bison stew!”

“Did you make the stew,” Lorcan muttered, snuggled in between Vaughan and Rowan. Fenrys, probably having decided that he wasn’t being given his due attention, was sprawled on top of them and somehow managed to make it look comfortable. “If so, I don’t want it.”

“Hahaha, you’re so funny! Did you come up with that all by yourself? No, of course I didn’t – Mama Salvaterre did that and Mia made bread, I think. Or was it cookies, I can’t quite remember, but she was baking. C’mon! Get out of bed,” she whined, stamping her feet on the floor like a petulant child until they all slowly climbed out, wearing an unintentional uniform of hoodies and sweats.  Aelin being Aelin, commented as they filed out, somber and silent. “Wow, matching, how cute.”

Lorcan snapped his teeth at her and flipped her off as he sat down heavily at the island bar, smiling slightly when Nehemia pushed a filled bowl and spoon towards him.

The rest of the boys served themselves and were silent as they ate, shoveling the food into their mouths and down their throats. Nehemia half wondered how they hadn’t choked yet.

When their bellies were full, Aelin gave them glasses and the pitcher of her concoction, sending them out onto the porch. They all protested, of course, and said they would clean up like the good mama’s boys they all were (though they were loath to admit it) but Odette would have none of it.

It was a good thing that the sink was situated so that one could look out over the yard and therefore patio while they washed up. Aelin had suds up to her elbows as she half cleaned, half spied on the boys, little snippets of their conversation floating through an open window.

Lorcan was talking about Elide and how he didn’t want his brothers to hate her. They were all quick to assure him they didn’t, but Aelin knew better. There would be a grudge held for a while.

Eventually, Fenrys and Vaughan got antsy and went off to box on the grass. Aneha and Sadirah watched from the garden, egging them on, the little troublemakers. Rowan and Connall finally went down to break it up before either of them took it too far, as they were prone to do, but just ended up getting drawn in.

Lorcan was watching his brothers fight but wasn’t processing a thing. He stood up and walked down to the yard, passing everyone to sit by the jetty, watching the sun set. Lorcan dug out his phone from his pocket, not exactly sure what for.

The screen was lit up with one missed call and he opened his phone to see who it was. He choked, nearly sending the drink in his hand flying when he saw that it was from Elide and she’d left a voicemail.

Hands shaking, he put his drink down and pressed on his voicemail, hardly breathing as it rang and the automated voice recited: “ _ You have one new message. To hear your messages, press one- _ “

Lorcan pressed one and leaned his elbow on his knee, biting his thumbnail as her voice filled his ear. “ _ Hi. It’s me. _ ” She sounded like she was crying. “ _ I just- I’m on the plane and I want to cry. I miss you. I don’t know why I’m here, I shouldn’t be here. I thought I was going home but I’m not ‘cause you’re my home. Wherever you are, that’s where I should be. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t-“  _ she breathed in sharply, interrupting herself, _ “I need to get off this plane.” _

His eyes widened and his knee stopped bouncing as he heard a rustling sound and Elide murmuring quick apologies to the people she pushed past. There came a second voice that sounded like it was further away. “ _ Miss—” _

_ “I need to get off the plane.” _

Lorcan swallowed hard, almost thinking this was a dream. The flight attendant spoke again, sounding slightly exasperated, “ _ Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to take your seat. The plane will be leaving soon.” _

“Let her off the plane,” he breathed, standing up and pacing back and forth. He ran his hand through his damp hair, his heart slamming against his ribs.

_ “No, you- you don’t understand! I need to get off this plane, I can’t leave—” _

The message ended and he froze, “No, no, no,  _ fuck!” _

He hung up before the automated message could play and almost threw his phone into the ocean. He didn’t know what to do and so he hastily typed out Elide’s number, messing up more than a few times and hitting the wrong number.

When he finally got the right number, his call was sent straight to voicemail and Lorcan swore again, unaware that the play boxing had stopped and they were all watching him with confusion on their faces. “Princess, please, just tell me if you got off the plane, ok? I need you to call me back and tell me if you got off the plane—”

“I got off the plane.”

He froze, his phone falling to the grass beneath his feet. Lorcan didn’t dare turn around, afraid it would just be a figment of his imagination and she'd slip through his fingers again. When Vaughan nodded once, just barely a dip of his chin, Lorcan’s breath escaped him in a rushed exhale and he turned, not making any other move towards her as the same water taxi drove off, leaving Elide and her bag on the dock. “You got off the plane?”

Elide nodded, biting her bottom lip as tears streamed down her face, “I got off the plane.”

He rasped a laugh, the sound watery and tearful as he took one step towards her and Elide flew towards him, her arms stretched out and reaching for him.

Lorcan rocked back a step as she launched herself into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. Her hands slid into his hair and his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her body closer and closer still. He could feel Elide’s tears drip onto the skin of his neck and her body shook as she cried. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I left. Of course I love you. I  _ love  _ you.”

Pulling back, Elide tracked her eyes over his face, crying anew at the tears on his cheeks, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Lorcan moved a hand to cup her jaw and kissed away her tears which only made her cry harder.

“I love you,” he murmured, stroking his thumb over her cheek. “I love you.” Elide laughed, the sound choked, and hugged him tighter, looking down at him from her elevated position as he hoisted her up higher and banded his arms under her thighs. “Did you mean it?” he asked, his eyes searching hers. “What you said in the voicemail.”

Elide smiled, almost shyly, through the tears that fell steadily and nodded. “Every word. I don’t want to leave you again. I’m home with you. Wherever you are, I’m there.” 

He didn’t want to waste anymore time and closed the gap between them, kissing her softly, uncertainly. After a second, he drew back, looking up at her as she kissed him again, sure of herself as her hands moved to cup his face. “I love you.”

“Say it again,” he whispered, chasing the feeling of those words against his lips. “Tell me again. Until I am tired of it.”

“I love you,” she said, pulling away. Her nose was tucked against his, their lips still brushing together as she said it. She kissed his cheek, “I love you.” Another kiss pressed to his other cheek, “I love you.” Elide kissed his brow, “I love you.” She kissed the tip of his nose, “I love you.” And then, finally, her lips pressed against his, soft and sure as her words, “I love you.” Her lips moved against his, her hands slipping back into his hair, “Are you tired of it yet?” 

“No.” 

“When will you tire of it?”

“Never.”

Twilight was upon them and Lorcan guided Elide through the dew-kissed grass, her hand fitting flawlessly, like the final piece of a puzzle, in his.

After dinner, a slightly strained ordeal on the boys’ parts until Odette cut them a glare that had them near pissing themselves when it then passed smoothly, Elide and Lorcan had slipped off silently, having only eyes for each other as they strolled peacefully, their joined hands swinging between them.

Rowan and Fenrys had scowled after the retreating figures, an indignant fury directed towards the petite woman. Odette had seen this and pulled them to the side, chastising them for not recognizing their friend’s happiness over their own pigheaded,  _ male _ need to hold grudges on behalf of a man who wanted not their anger.

In the present, Elide tugged on Lorcan’s hand until he turned back, gazing at her as she was bathed in the bright moon’s silver light. “I want to dance,” she whispered, delighted as he swept her into a sweet dance, slow and even over the glowing grass.

They danced under the twinkling stars and full moon, to the music only they knew - something that played only in their heads. 

When her feet grew sore and her eyes drooped, Lorcan scooped her up and held her close to him, pressing his lips to her forehead as she made a happy noise in the back of her throat and hummed sleepily. She toyed with his necklace, sliding her fingers up and down the chain.

Elide was out by the time he closed the door to their room and put her down, smiling as she clung to his hoodie and whined, her brow wrinkling.

She settled once he laid down beside her and let her move however she wanted, not satisfied until she was straddling his waist and snuggled against his chest.

Elide sat upright suddenly, her hands braced against his chest. Lorcan sat up, cupping her cheek, “What is it?”

“Kiss me.”

He did so with no hesitation, kissing her slowly, thoroughly. She sighed and melted into it, moaning when he licked into her mouth and their tongues tangled together.

Chests rising and falling erratically, Lorcan pulled away, only slightly, his lips brushing against hers as he asked, “What was that for?” She didn’t open her eyes, her fingers lingering on his cheeks. 

“Is this a dream? If I open my eyes, will you be gone?”

He smiled and waited until her eyes slowly cracked open for him to say, “You are my dream.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i TOLD y'all it'd be fine!!


	12. Epilogue

**One Year Later**

Elide had taken off her heels long before they walked down the hall to their penthouse. The champagne in her blood from the countless toasts at Fenrys and Nehemia’s rehearsal dinner was losing its touch and she felt clear-headed as she unlocked the door and dropped her shoes and mother of pearl minaudière. 

Her clutch matched the drop pearl necklace she wore, her accessories simple with her dress. A light lilac silk number with a ruched bust that looked beautiful on her, like a liquid as it clung delicately to her curves. The colour of her almond-shaped acrylics – just long enough to scratch his scalp the way he liked when she played with his hair – matched her dress as well. 

“Baby!” she called, spinning around as Lorcan shut the door behind him. He smiled and she felt her lips – painted a dark berry that was stark against her pale complexion – pull up into an intimate grin.

They lived in Orynth now. Elide had quit her job as a prosecutor basically the day they returned from the Northern Isles and when she had gotten an offer as a child advocacy attorney in Orynth, they’d both agreed that she should take it.

Elide had moved to Orynth nine months ago and they stayed separated as Lorcan finished his articling and then snagged a position with Crown Counsel in their new city.

“Princess,” he replied, his voice deep and smooth as he wrapped his arm around her waist and his hands slid down to the curve of her ass. It sent a shiver down her spine. “You looked nice tonight.”

“’Nice’?” she repeated, fake ire in her dark eyes. “That’s all you have to say? I look  _ nice _ ?”

Lorcan rolled his eyes as she went on, chiding him for his ‘lukewarm’ compliment as she put it. With a sigh, he cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking over the apple of her cheek, “Darlin’, you look beautiful, as always. Absolutely stunning. Drop-dead gorgeous. A fuckin’ goddess. Exquisite.” His other hand splayed over her lower back and his thumb circled over her tattooed wyvern’s tail. Due to the slinky, low-cut back of her dress, her tattoos were on full display, something she never would’ve done a year ago.

He switched to Ozuye, praising her in the language she loved so despite only understanding the basics. A pleased, soft grin appeared over her mouth and Lorcan leaned down, resting his brow against hers. “Is that sufficient, your Highness?”

“I think it’ll do,” she whispered, tilting her chin up and kissing him so softly, her hands coming up to cup his face, her fingertips resting elegantly on his stubbled cheeks. With a happy little gasp, she pulled back, “Will you make me food?”

He laughed, his head tipping back. Elide giggled, eyes tracking her boyfriend’s joyful expression. “Yeah, princess, I’ll make you food. What do you want?”

“Ooh remember that pasta you made, like, a week-ish ago? That,” she said, almost buzzing from her excitement. "Please."

Lorcan chuckled and leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips, “Ok. Let me change and I’ll do it.” Before he could lead her to their room on the second floor, she stopped him, wiping her lipstick from his lips.

“It’s not your shade. Clashes with your suit and skin tone,” she told him, patting his cheek, and letting him tug her behind him.

Entering their bedroom, they found a nest of blankets on their bed, though it had been made before they left. Elide squealed lightly, “Hell, baby!” A furry head popped up, icy blue eyes bright even in the darkness of their room.

Lorcan chuckled as Elide scooped up the Husky puppy – named Hellas – and cradled him close. “I told you he’d be lonely,” she accused him, frowning as she bounced the bundle in her arms. It never failed to make him smile when he remembered just how soft her soft spot for fluffy, little animals was. 

“And I told you Mia would kick both our asses for bringing him,” he answered her mildly, taking off his suit jacket and tossing it onto the armchair in the corner. He loosened his tie and went to change while Elide spoke quietly to their pet, his paws swiping the air above him.

By the time he was changed into sweats and a cut off t-shirt, Elide had done nothing except move to the balcony, holding Hellas so that he could look over the glittering city. She held one of his paws, pointing out various sights. Lorcan walked to her, freezing as he approached the threshold of the sliding glass door, unable to think of anything else but when Elide would hold their child like that.

Kids were… abstract to them. They were both fairly young and neither felt any pressure to produce any offspring. Creator damn him, they weren’t even married. The ring in his pocket was practically burning a hole through his sweatpants, taunting him.

“Princess,” he said, his voice low, “I’m gonna get your food started. You want anything else?”

Elide spun neatly, smiling brightly as he reached for the dog and put him down after kissing the top of his head. “Nope! I’m gonna pop in the shower and I’ll be down soon,” she said, resting her hand on his chest as she rose on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and then thumbed off the mark her lips made. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” he murmured, patting her ass, “c’mon, go on.”

“Someone’s eager to get me wet and naked,” she said, voice cheeky and sultry all at once as she winked.

He leveled her with a flat look and her cackle, indicating she was pleased with the reaction he’d given her, followed her as she waltzed into the master bath, her hips swaying hypnotically. 

Lorcan hadn’t been sure  _ when  _ he would ask her, but tonight was perfect. 

Elide toweled her hair dry after changing into a crewneck from her alma mater and a pair of her boyfriend’s boxers. Hair damp, she threw it up in a messy bun as she walked down the stairs, able to see Lorcan at the stove, his back to her. 

Hellas was curled on the staircase landing and she scooped the three-month old puppy up, putting him on his feet. He bounded down the stairs, tail wagging as his nails clicked on the hardwood floors. Lorcan leaned down, not taking his eyes off the saucepan to scratch Hellas’ belly when the dog practically threw himself down at Lorcan’s feet and whined softly.

Elide laughed softly and walked down the rest of the stairs, crossing the open-plan floor of their apartment. She stopped by the wine cooler, browsing for a moment before choosing a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, one that paired well with the creamy and rich pasta  _ alla vodka _ she loved.

They didn’t speak as she sat herself on a barstool that opposed the stove, set in their kitchen island. Lorcan smiled as she passed him his glass and sipped lightly, nodding at the flavour. “Solid choice, babe.”

Elide laughed at his commentary and drank from her own glass, moaning softly, “If this wine was a person, would you be mad if I left you for them?”

“Like I wouldn’t be the one to leave,” he snorted, lifting the wooden to her lips. “Taste.”

It was delicious, buttery, tomato-y, creamy, rich – “Oh, fuck that’s good. This is, like… head worthy.”

“Keeping it classy as always, are we, Lochan?”

“Only way I know how,” she said, wiggling her brows as she took another sip of her wine, the slightly acidic notes and citrusy undertones cutting through the velvety heaviness of the sauce. “This is the life, you know.”

“Oh, really? Elaborate, if you will, princess,” Lorcan drawled, expertly tearing leaves from the basil plant they had on the black marble countertop and chopping them up, the sharp knife merely a flash of silver.

“Cute dog, lovely apartment, a pretty man to make me pasta whenever I ask for it… every girl’s dream,” she said. “I’m a very lucky gal.”

His eyes softened, the shade of his irises melting into liquid obsidian. Lorcan spoke, his voice quiet, “I like to think I’m the lucky one.” There was a certain intimate happiness, domestic bliss to have her bare faced, hair messy, wearing an old, faded sweater and underwear. Gods, he loved her.

Elide’s face softened as well, her grin small. “I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree,” she whispered, running the tip of her index finger over the rim of her glass.

Soon enough, Lorcan placed her dish and a fresh glass of wine before her on the little table. They were on their living room balcony, their dog curled up inside on the L-shaped couch, his snout tucked against his side.

Elide had her feet in Lorcan’s lap, her legs stretched out beneath the table. As they ate, he kept one hand on her right ankle, thumb steady over scarred flesh as he traced gentle patterns over the mangled skin.

They talked about absolutely everything and utterly nothing at the same time as they ate, wrapped up in their own little world. 

When the dishes were clean, the bottle of wine empty, Lorcan cleared the table, his heart practically throwing itself against his ribcage, similar to how a wave would smash against a cliff, over and over, harsh, and vicious each time.

Elide noticed it as he pulled her into his lap, but he didn’t give in to the feel of her stare on his face. Instead, he kept his gaze on the city. Despite the late time – far past midnight – it was still bustling. “What’s wrong?”

Her fingers ghosted over his face, gripping his chin, and turning his head to her. “Baby?” 

“I have a question for you.”

“Don’t hold me in suspense,” she quipped, whatever had been clouding her eyes in worry dissipating.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Elide said, a look of confusion passing over her face.

“And I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he continued, smiling as tears sprung up in her eyes and she realized. Lorcan dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out the ring, a simple silver band and a kite-cut black diamond.

“Oh,” she gasped, her hand coming to rest on her throat.

“Every day, I want with you. Remember a while back, you had gone out with the girls and I came to pick you up and you asked me why you?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, biting the inside of her cheek. “You didn’t say anything.”

“Because I didn’t know  _ why _ , I just knew. Nothing else, nobody else makes sense, except for you. You’re the only person I want to commit marriage fraud with, the only person I’d make pasta for at,” he glanced at his watch, a rough chuckle escaping his lips, “…3:27am. Marry me.”

“That’s not a question,” she whispered, smiling so widely, her nose scrunching up. “Not exactly giving me oodles of options.”

“Do you need them,” he questioned her, raising a brow as his heart lodged itself in his throat.

“No, I don’t need them. Of course, I’ll marry you. Yes, yes, yes,” she said, sitting up to straddle his lap as he took her hand and slid the ring on her finger. “Perfect fit.” Her hands gently cupped his face, like they always did before she kissed him.

Her lips were soft against his, slow and searching as his rough hands gripped her thighs. Elide deepened the embrace as she looped an arm around his neck and fisted her other hand in his shirt, holding him tight to her.

Lorcan obliged her demand, pulling her closer with his arms around her slim waist. Elide nipped his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth and caressing it with her tongue before letting go. He let loose a groan, looking up at her with lidded eyes.

Elide brushed his hair back from his brow, “Do you think Fen and Mia are going to yell at us for getting engaged on their wedding day?” They would keep it quiet, of course, not at all wanting to take away from their friends’ day. But their group were a perceptive bunch and even if she didn’t wear her ring, they would sniff it out somehow.

Especially Aelin and Rowan. They were like Gossip Girl, secrets just  _ went _ to them, like moths to a flame. 

Lorcan shrugged and stood up, wrapping her legs around his waist, his hands sliding to lock beneath her ass. “They’ll yell at us for doing it today and yell at us for not telling them. There’s no good option.”

She laughed, tilting her head back as he walked them to their bedroom. “We are a loud bunch, hmm?”

“Just a bit.”

Elide smiled down at him and Lorcan thanked the gods for her, for the chance to make her smile like that every day for the rest of their lives. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for sticking with me during this fic! i had so much fun writing this and reading all of your reactions 🥺 you can find me on tumblr @nalgenewhore and i have a new project in the works so look out for that 😌✨


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